We're gonna be alright
by fandomgirl7
Summary: "And every time I watch her limp into my house at midnight, anger boils up inside me. It takes everything I am not to go over to her house and kill him because its one thing to hurt me but it's completely another to hurt my Tris." Marcus Eaton and Andrew Prior both abuse their children (Tris and Tobias) this is about the two of them helping eachother get through it. Modern day.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N So hello people this is my second fanfic but my first one didn't go very well so i'm trying again.**

**Anyway this is set in modern day**

**Tris is a junior, Tobias is a senior**

**I'm sure all the characters** **will be a little ooc but i really tried to make the characters believable, although some of the chracters are completely different than in the book, for the sake of the story, (Andrew, Caleb, Al, and even Susan) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent, all credit goes to Veronica roth. I only own my ideas. **

INTRO

TRIS POV

"Plea- please stop." I whimper as the belt comes down and digs into my back again. Andrew growls and hits me again; hot pain shoots through me as I suppress a cry.

I can feel the belt buckle collide into my shoulder and I know that there will be not only a bruise but also most likely a welt when I wake up.

I can feel the leather slice the already tender skin on my back from previous beatings, I don't know why he does this to me; all I can think about now is the stinging pain. I scream for him to stop but he just hits me harder, I can tell that the cuts will be deeper than usual.

"Andrew stop!" I scream angrily trying to stand up and get away but I'm weak from the previous hits, he slaps me so hard I see stars and collapse again, leaving me in the perfect position for him to use me as a punching bag. _This is it; I'm going to die._ I want to get up and run away from here but my body refuses to move, I feel another kick in my side and I groan.

Eventually Andrew lets up a bit and yanks me up, he literally drags me up the stairs of our small house in abnegation and throws me in my room like I was a rag doll, I don't make a noise because right now he's content with just locking me in my room, and most likely starving me until school tomorrow and even that's better than getting beaten up, and if he hears me he'll just hurt me so I stay silent. When I hear uneven steps down the stairs, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

_Another day in paradise_, I somehow manage to get myself into a sitting position. I have to get out of here, I try to remember if Marcus is home right now or not, but I'm having trouble thinking straight because my head is pounding so hard.

I think back to yesterday, Tobias said that it was ok to come over today because he was on a business trip.

I stand up but just end up on the ground with a loud bang again, hitting my head hard, I don't know how but I make it to my window which is my usual escape from here and climb out, I climb down from the roof and start to drag myself down the street to Tobias' house.

TOBIAS POV

Thank God Marcus is gone, he left about an hour ago and I'm enjoying the freedom but like usual I can't enjoy it for long because I'm always worried about Tris, I hope Andrew's out tonight but somehow I'm pretty sure he's not.

Our dad's have known each other since high school and now they're business partners. Luckily for Tris and I their jobs keep them busy and they often go away for weeks sometimes even months at a time on trips but that can only last for a while until they come back.

Marcus beat my mom for years until she finally just left him, and apparently at the time it didn't even cross her mind that when she left he'd just hurt me instead. I was 8 and here I am 10 years later still afraid of him and still too weak to fight back.

For Tris it was different though, her mom died right around the time my beatings got worse, she was 10 I was 12. As a result Andrew turned into… well another Marcus. Taking all his anger out on Tris and abandoning her brother Caleb.

Even thinking about him hurting her for the past 7 years makes me sick, but the worst part is, is that I'm too much of a coward to protect her. I remember the first time she came running to my house, sobbing, with a lash mark across her cheek. I remember wanting to take her away from here, away from anyone who could hurt her. I remember wishing I could do something to stop him but I knew that there was no way I could stop him if I couldn't even stop Marcus.

I've always been protective of her but since her mom died, Andrew started to abuse her and started getting bullied I've been _really_ protective, she hates it but I can't help it. She hates being weak and she's not so I try to treat her like the strong girl she is but its hard, I just want to protect her.

Then I start to worry about her again, I told her Marcus was gone for the week and we both know that the other wouldn't ever pass up the chance to get away. _I'm sure I'm overreacting, she has homework or she's at Christina's or somet_hing. But somehow I know that that's not the case, then the front door bursts open, and Tris trudges in bloody, bruised battered and by the looks of it barely conscious.

I stride over to her in 3 long steps and wrap an arm around her to help her up. She immediately leans into me, I don't have to ask what happened. I help her walk over to the couch and help her lay down then run up the stairs and grab some pain killers and bandages to wrap up her injuries.

When I go back down stairs, I wrap up her torso and her shoulder, which has a huge, bleeding gash, most likely from the belt buckle.

It kills me to see her like this, to see that much pain written across her beautiful face, it makes me sick.

This happens every time, and every time I watch her limp over to my house at midnight, like tonight, anger boils up inside of me and it takes everything I am to not go over to her house and kill Andrew with my bare hands because it's one thing to hurt me, in fact maybe I even deserve it but it's a completely another thing to hurt my Tris. I hate having to stand by and watch it happen but we both know that there's nothing we can do.

She takes the aspirin and a few minutes later she can sit up, I can tell that the pain has subsided a little. "You ok now?" I ask quietly. She nods a little too vigorously, staring at the floor, biting her lip to keep from crying.

No matter how much I'd like to take her in my arms and cuddle her I know that I can't because she'd resent me and probably stop talking to me if I did so I just watch her face carefully. This is the hardest part, I know what it's like, once the physical pain subsides you get to thinking about all that they said and why they did it and wonder what you did wrong, the emotional damage hurts just as bad.

As I think of what she had to go through tonight and what Andrew must have done to her and has done to her since she was little, rage takes over me and my hands clench into fists. I need to clear my head.

"Have you eaten anything today?" I seriously doubt she did, being stuck at home with Andrew all day. Not only does he never feed her he doesn't allow her to eat. She shakes her head.

"I'll go get you something, I'll be right back. Ok?" she nods; I don't expect much else from her, once I'm in the small abnegation style kitchen I start pacing trying to calm down.

_There's nothing you can do_. I think to myself but it doesn't help, all I want to do is protect her but I can't. I grab a bottle of water and a few other things; when I get back she has her sketchpad that she keeps here on her lap with her back facing me against the armrest and her I-pod, which she keeps here, is playing music quietly.

A soft song plays quietly, I stand in the doorway watching her sketch for a second and like usual I wonder about what's she's drawing.

Of course I'd never ask; that's how she heals. She sketches her feelings and I understand that that's private to her. I've seen a few of her pictures and it's pretty horrific the stuff that she must feel to be able to draw something like that. I enter the room, taking a quick glance over her shoulder and am surprised not to see some disgusting image of death or pain but of the making of a person, a man, from the side. It's really good too. I go over to the other end of the couch, lift up her feet, sit and let her rest them on my lap. She looks up at me with one of her rare small smiles before turning to her drawing. We stay like that for a long time, her drawing and me watching her carefully.

Eventually she looks up at the clock and her eyes go wide, I look up too and it's past 2am.

"You can sleep up in my room." I tell her getting up, she eyes the stairs nervously and I can tell she is still in a lot of pain. She nods and closes her sketchpad, I help her up and we walk up the stairs.

TRIS POV

His room is familiar considering I'm almost always over here so as soon as we get up there I comfortably go and sit on the edge of the bed, without any awkwardness between us, he is my best friend after all. He leans on the doorframe casually, watching me.

"I'm gonna take a shower, I probably look like a wreck." I say standing, wincing as the tender scrapes on my back open a little. He nods with a small smile and heads down downstairs.

I go into his bathroom and turn the water on, scalding hot. It feels really good, with the boiling water burning and relaxing my tense muscles. Washing over my scars.

A few minutes later I'm getting under the covers and the second my head hits the pillow I can feel myself drifting into sleep, feeling safe for the first time since I last saw Tobias.

He's the best friend I could ask for; he doesn't look at me like a kicked puppy like I always imagine people doing if I told them.

He understands how I feel because he goes through the same thing.

He and I help each other get through this, without him I don't know how I would have survived and I know he feels the same.

**A/N Sooooo tell me what you think. Should I continue? Love it, hate it, tell me! I really want to know! Have any ideas i'd love to hear them! I have tons of ideas for this story so just let me know if i should just stop embarassing myself.**

**PS this is kinda boring but things will pick up, i just thought this was a good introduction to the story.**

**Please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N OMG you guys are the best! Thank you to everybody that reviewed and followed and favorited! Youre the best! **

**Ok so there were a few things that i need to make clear.**

**First the factions, ok each town is a seperate faction, Tris and Tobias live in Abnegation, but they transfered to the Dauntless school when they started high school. **

**Second, there WILL be Fourtris, and i would never do any odd pairings or make one of them jealous or anything like that**

**Third, they might fight back, they might not, you'll just have to wait and see**

**And lastly i cried so hard during a certain part at the beginning, you'll know what part i'm talking about, its really personal, I wrote it from the heart so yea that was a huge part of my inspiration for some of the content in this story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent, Veronica Roth does**

CHAPTER 2: TRIS POV

The next morning I wake up to Tobias shaking my uninjured shoulder,

"Tris, come on we've got school," he says softly. I open my eyes slightly and see his smiling face, I groan and bury my face into my pillow. He chuckles and shakes my shoulder again.

"Come on Trisss," he slurs my name and I can't fight the grin on my face as I roll on my back, grabbing his hand and tugging him onto the bed. He laughs and it makes my smile bigger.

"I don't want to go…." I mumble into my pillow. I feel the mattress move as his weight shifts and just as I think he's leaving he lifts me out of bed, slings me over his shoulder and starts to walk out of the room.

"Tobias!" I growl as I try to wriggle free, I would usually punch his back but I know how sore he is there. He has as many scars as I do.

"Yeah Tris?" he asks innocently.

"Put me down."

"I can't do that Tris."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"Whatever but unless you want to be late again you better put me down so I can get ready" he hesitates but concedes anyway and gentle lowers me back down on the ground. I smile up at him, satisfied while he just rolls his eyes playfully.

Just as I'm about to turn to go get ready he grabs my wrist keeping me in place, it stings as the material of my sweatshirt presses into the fresh cuts that cover my wrists, even if he's being gentle.

I promised him I wouldn't start again and I tried, I really did try and I've been clean for a long time but I couldn't be strong anymore, everything was just too much for me to handle… he thinks I've stopped, but I just couldn't.

He turns me around, facing him again. I raise my eyebrows and he glances at my wrist, he must have noticed me wince. He knows

I pull my arm back, and cross my arms over my chest.

"Yes?"

"Nothing." He says sadly, I turn around and climb the stairs up to the bathroom, feeling like crying, I'm not trying to hurt him, I would never do that, I would rather die then let him hurt and I've tried, god I tried to stay strong for him but I'm weak, I'm pathetic, and I couldn't do it, not even for him.

Once I'm in the shower, I let it out, I sob as loudly as I want and the running water drowns it out. I wail for I don't know how long, I never wanted Tobias to hurt, and I definitely didn't want to be the reason well now I've done both.

When I get out, I wrap a towel around my body, and look in the mirror.

I'm terrifyingly skinny, I have dark bruises of various colored all over my body, I am underdeveloped and flat as a board with no curves to speak of, I turn to get a look at my back, my scars are familiar, but the massive welt on my shoulder where the belt buckle hit me last night is some what alarming.

Never mind that but the lash marks too they're really deep.

I frown and lean forward to get a closer look at my face, I have a small, barely visible scar on my cheek from the first time Andrew hit me, when I was 10.

My eyes are red from the crying and there are bags under them.

I turn away from my reflection and change into an unrevealing outfit to hide the scars, the cuts on my wrists, the bruises and my skeleton like body, one of Tobias' black sweaters that's massive on me my black skinny jeans, and my combat boots.

I only wear make up when I need to cover something up, like a black eye or something and since my face is clear I don't have to worry about it.

I run down the stairs, and Tobias hands me my backpack, which I lazily throw over my shoulder and we go out to the garage where his motorcycle lives.

PAGE BREAK

As we hop off Tobias's Harley in the school parking lot I'm almost immediately tackled over by Christina hugging me tightly.

My back is still in a lot of pain and being pressed into the pavement isn't helping my open wounds.

"Christina get off me!" I can hardly breath from the force, she does and Tobias helps me up.

"You ok?" he asks looking at me with concern.

"Yeah I'm fine." He purses his lips, he knows I'm lying but he doesn't give me a hard time, he lets go of my arm and Christina pulls me away.

"See you later," I call over my shoulder to him, he waves and goes to meet up with Zeke and most likely Shauna and Lauren.

"OMG are you two dating yet?" she squeals, she asks me that question every time I see her.

"Chris how many times do I have to tell you, we've been best friends since we were little, and neither of us are looking for a relationship. We may not be dating but we're closer than most couples are anyways." I say.

"But you would be the cutest couple ever besides you're practically dating now. Its like you're together but you not, why don't you make it simpler and just date each other already." I roll my eyes; grab my books from my locker and head to math class, ignoring her.

PAGE BREAK: TRIS POV

During lunch I head to our usual table where Marlene, Uriah, Chris, Will and Lynn are already waiting for me.

I slide into an empty seat and they all just stare at me.

"What?" I ask after a while

"Is it true?" Uriah asks.

"Is what true?" I ask quietly, praying that nobody found out about Andrew or worse Caleb.

"You and Four are dating?" Marlene says happily. I groan.

"Seriously Chris?" she just smiles innocently

"What's with you guys and getting us together anyway? I mean we-," just as I'm about to go into yet another long explanation about our relationship Tobias sits next to me followed by Zeke, Shauna and Lauren.

Those four all seniors and everybody else are juniors; all of the guys are on the football team.

"What are you guys talking about?" Tobias asks.

"Oh just explaining to our dear friends that we are indeed not together." He rolls his eyes and opens up a notebook filled with notes; Tobias is really smart he works with computers all the time for extra credit.

"Guys it's getting old." He says kind of annoyed,

"That's what I said!" he laughs and goes back to his notebook. I peak over his shoulder and see that they're the history notes that I didn't bother taking; I rip it away from him and start reading them.

"Hey!" he says.

"What, I forgot to take notes." He rolls his eyes and snatches them back, but just as I'm about to fight him for it he puts it in between us. I smile and am about to read them but Uriah says.

"Oh yeah, they're definitely together." Then of course Christina chimes in.

"I knew it, see I told you that they'd be a cute couple!" we both groan.

"Whatever you say guys." He mutters and the whole table goes into conversation several comments about us being 'terrible liars' and 'perfect for each other' float amongst the girls, and I could've swore I heard a few bets placed among the guys but I just focus on studying the notes.

Lunch is almost over when someone taps me on the shoulder.

"Hey stiff…" I sigh and turn to see Peter, Drew and Molly, _joy_.

"What do you want?" I ask them.

"You." Peter sneers and Drew laughs. "Come on stiff lets have some fun" he's trying to torment me, scare me. He knows I'm scared of…intimacy; it's been one of my biggest fears since Caleb assaulted me. And only a few people knew about it, including Caleb's girlfriend Susan who was like a sister to me, she exposed that secret while she was still at school here and I still get bullied because of it.

Peter's about to taunt me again but he doesn't get to continue because now Tobias is standing in between us glaring daggers at him.

"Don't touch her." He says quietly, quiet is always worse. Tobias is at least a head taller, much bigger and stronger than Peter, he could easily take him and he probably would but if Peter's older brother Eric found out or worse Marcus then that would turn out really bad. I shiver at the thought

"Getting your boyfriend to protect you now. Tell me Four what do you see in her. I mean she's got the body of a 12 year old, she's weak, she-," he's interrupted because Tobias hits him in the jaw, hard.

He repeatedly hits him until I come back to my senses, he knows that he can't do that. If Marcus finds out…

"Four, stop." I say calmly, he turns to me with a surprised look.

"Tris don't." he says quietly, I can see the fear in his eyes thinking about Marcus. I stand up and take his hand pulling him out of the cafeteria, once we're a safe distance from them I turn to him but he doesn't stop.

"Not here," he mutters and pulls me into an empty hallway a little ways down.

"I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have done that." I start but he shakes his head.

"I had to, you're right I shouldn't have, but I had to."

"No, it-," I start but he refuses to let me finish.

"It was worth it, alright? Besides Marcus doesn't come back for a week this will blow over before then."

I shake my head, looking at the ground. I can't look at him not when I'm the reason Marcus is going to hurt him again.

"Hey look at me." He steps closer to me and starts to lift my chin but I avoid eye contact.

"Tris," his voice is stern this isn't my Tobias who would do anything for me, this Four. This is the guy that everybody else knows him as, the cold and cruel prodigy Four. I look up at him,

"Do _not_ blame yourself. It is _not_ your fault. Ok?" I nod slowly, he wraps his arms around me and I hug him back tightly.

We stay like this for a while until the bell rings and we head to go to our classes.

PAGE BREAK

Just as last period is starting, Tobias and I are walking through the main hall when Zeke and Uriah both come up to us

"You coming to watch football practice Tris?" Uriah asks me, I shrug.

"I don't know…"

"Oh come on you have a free period now anyways." Tobias says and I glare at him.

"It's settled, come on Trissy." Zeke says as he runs to the field house.

"Thanks for that." I say to Tobias before he has to go change

"Come on you know I do better when you're there…" he says.

"Whatever," I mutter; he smiles and runs to get his equipment on.

I find myself a seat on the bleachers with my sketchpad occasionally adding to the sketch while I watch practice. Tobias is the quarterback. Will is kicker, and Zeke and Uriah are on defense.

After warm ups they have a scrimmage, I watched the guys for a while but eventually I get bored so I turn my attention to my sketchpad. I feel a pang of pain in my chest as I flip through the pages of gruesome images I've drawn until I get to the one I'm currently working on. It's just a man's head from the side, so far I only have the shape of his head but it's coming along.

I sketch for most of practice, occasionally I look up and my eyes meet Tobias' dark blue eyes, he's always got an eye out for me. He's really protective, most of the time I can't stand it and pretend that I hate him for it because I don't want to be weak but he does treats me like I'm strong so I guess I don't mind as much as I let on.

TOBIAS POV

After our scrimmage I'm standing around waiting to be dismissed and watching (guess who) yep Tris. She sketches on her sketchpad quietly like she was during most of practice and there it is again, that curiosity to know what she's drawing. How she's turning her feelings into art

"Hey Four!" the new guy, a line backer, Al comes jogging over.

"What?" I sound like Four, good.

"You know her?" he nods over to the bleachers, I follow his gaze, apparently I wasn't the only one watching Tris.

"Yeah…" my voice trails off, she doesn't realize it but a lot of guys look at her and why shouldn't they, she's beautiful, I even get glares from jealous guys but they don't last long because pretty much everyone's intimidated by my whole Four persona.

"Wait why?' I ask, breaking him out of his trance.

"Does she have a boyfriend?" he asks and the sudden urge to kill him surprises me, why am I so possessive. I mean just earlier we were trying to make known that we weren't dating, now all of a sudden I'm freaking out about the idea that anyone look at her like I do.

"Well… I mean no but…" Is the great Four stuttering? What's wrong with me?

"Seriously? She's so hot though…" all I can manage is a stupid sounding,

"Well duh." What am I saying? "I mean, it's just, she..." ugh, why can't I think of anything to say.

"Well I'm gonna ask her out." He starts trotting over to her. Wait what?!

Ugh what did I just do? What if Tris says yes? What am I going to do without her?

_Tobias don't be an idiot she's stayed with you since you guys were kids she's not going to leave now… _

But what if she does?

I want to scream

I want to kill Al

I want to run over and kiss her soft lips in front of everyone so everybody knows that she's mine, but that's just the problem, she's not and I waited too long and now she's gone.

_She could say no… _

But why would she choose me, she doesn't realize the effect she has on me. I can't live without her, what do I do?

TRIS POV

I stare at one of my darkest sketches. A picture of a girl completely consumed in darkness with a knife to her throat. It represents how much despair I felt when I lost my mom.

A couple years ago, it was her birthday and I was having a hard time dealing with it. That's when Tobias gave me the sketchpad this was my first picture. I look up with tears in my eyes expecting to see Tobias' comforting eyes, hoping that they'll make me strong but instead I see someone running up to me

_That's not Tobias. _I think. I glance over at Tobias, who stares at me wide eyed with a conflicted look on his face, my heart drops to my stomach.

The guy running up to me is really big, even for a football player but Tobias is stronger.

Why do I keep comparing guys with Tobias? Just today we were trying to convince everybody that we didn't like each other in that way but here I am not even considering dating anyone but Tobias. Something's wrong with me

"Hey, Tris right?" the guy says. I nod because I can't do anything else

"You're pretty shy aren't you?" he asks sitting next to me, really close. Only Tobias sits this close to me, I gulp and shrug.

"I guess you could say that." He smiles, he seems really nice and friendly but I still think he's a little unsettling. I look over at Tobias who is now glaring at the guy, and I'm especially grateful at his protectiveness. He turns to his attention to me and gives me look that says, _I'm right here; just tell me if I need to kill him. _I give him the slightest smile before turning to the boy beside me.

"I'm sorry, what's your name?" I ask,

"Al, I'm new here." I nod, that explains why he thinks he can ask me out.

Pretty much everyone around here knows not mess with either of us; they know we're not together although they sometimes doubt it but they know that we aren't interested in anyone except perhaps each other.

"How do you like it here?" I'm really just being polite; I could care less about this guy.

"It's great, really nice people." He says and I nod trying my best to smile.

"Anyway would you want to get out of here?" he asks,

"What do you mean?" My voice is small and almost mousy.

"You know like we could go somewhere after this?" Oh, _oh_.

"Umm I'm not sure. It's just that, I…." I don't know what to say

"Oh you don't have a boyfriend do you?" he asks cautiously, what should I say? How do I explain my relationship with Tobias to him?

"Well not really but I kind of have a… I mean I have somebody in my life right now." What was that?

"Oh you like somebody else?" he asks, he sounds disappointed.

"Kind of, it's complicated. You see everybody around here knows about it so I'm just not used to having to explain it to anyone. I'm sorry." I sound so pathetic!

"That's alright but I'd still like to hang out sometime." What should I say, I really don't like him. But I've already hurt him enough.

"Ok," escapes my lips before I can stop it.

He grins, "See you around." Then he walks away, I bury my face in my hands. _What did I just do?_

**A/N You guys are gonna hate Al. Ok let me know what you think, if you have suggestions or ideas tell me. **

**This chapter kinda sucked but if i get enough reviews i might update again tonight, the next chapter is a lot more exciting**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N You guys are amazing! Thank you sooooo much!**

**Disclaimer Veronica roth owns Divergent, I dont.**

TRIS POV

After Al left Tobias didn't waste anytime coming over to sit with me. He sat down close to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders; I leaned into him and buried my face in his shirt, breathing in his scent. I felt safe again.

"You ready to go home?" he asked me, I nodded and we stood up. I hadn't realized that he'd already changed out of his uniform.

We grabbed our backpacks and as we made our way to his Harley I saw Al getting into his truck, he didn't see Tobias and started coming over,

"I'll go pull around, is that ok?" he said, I really didn't want him to go but I needed to talk to Al so I nodded and walked towards Al.

"You need a ride?" he asked when I got up to him,

"No, I've got one. Look Al, I'm really sorry but I don't think it's gonna work out."

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's just that I-," I stop because he's leaning me against the back of a car.

"You just what?" his voice is a little…menacing?

"Umm…."

"Oh hello stiff…" Peter, I try to push Al off but he holds me where I am

"Let me go." I try but he holds me tighter then I feel his hand on my thigh.

"Stop." I demand but he just rubs my thigh then his hand moves towards my waist, up my shirt, he start groping my chest. I try to scream but then a hand covers my mouth and a blindfold over my eyes, I bite down as hard as possible until I taste blood.

"Owww," he screeches, Drew. Then somebody hits me really hard in the jaw, the nose, and my head. Everywhere, until I can't stand anymore. I feel the positions switch so now somebody is straddling me.

"Well, well, well stiff." Peter jeers as he starts touching me even more than Al did. I feel him finger my belt; I scream as loud as possible but then I feel something cool on my forehead.

"Quiet." He growls and I can tell it's a knife blade. I whimper but stay quiet. 3 against one isn't fair, it's also not fair that my dad already hurts me and now they do too, or that Caleb touches me and so do they. I feel his hands start to pull my belt off and I panic, I need to do something.

He pulls the blindfold off, "I want to see your face, and I want to look in your eyes." I can feel bile in my throat and I make an inhumane noise.

"Peter!" I growl but he turns the knifepoint to my temple so I can't say anything else.

"I want to hear you too. I want to hear you beg for more."

_Just let me die_. Then I feel more blows to my head, they want me unconscious and it's working then I hear a growl, followed by a cry of pain. Peter gets off and I see someone beating someone else.

"Four," I croak then Tobias is at my side. I let out something between a sob and a groan as he lifts me into his arms.

"Shhh, Tris it's ok" He whispers then I black out.

PAGE BREAK: TRIS POV

I wake up to the sound of running water. Immediately I try to sit up and take in my surroundings, then I realize I'm safe, Tobias found me, Peter and Drew and…Al are gone. Just then Tobias walks in with an icepack in hand, I glance at his hands, his knuckles are split and there's a little bruising.

"Your hands," I croak, testing my voice and like I suspected it's strained.

"My hands are none of your concern." He snaps and I let myself relax into the sheets on his bed. He comes over rests the icepack on the side of my head where I feel the most pain; I probably have a huge bruise. Other than his hands he has a small cut on his lip, I lift my hand, reaching out. Only hesitating for a second, leaving my hand suspended before I let my fingers rest on the small cut.

"Tris." He speaks against my fingers, our eyes locked. "I'm all right."

I let my hand fall and for a second I don't know what to say. What do you say after you're attacked and almost raped?

"Why were you there?" I ask quietly, a look of both confusion and concern crosses his face.

"You don't remember? I told you I'd pull around."

"Right, it just slipped my mind I guess. Do you know what my injuries are?"

"Oh yeah, I wasn't sure whether or not to take you to the hospital, I was going to let you decide." He says.

"You know neither of us can, go to the hospital I mean. If Andrew or Marcus found out…. besides we both know what they'd find." I say remembering the scars that cover my back, he does too because he starts to rub his shoulder.

"Well I don't think anything's broken but you do have some badly bruised ribs and the bump on your head. The only thing I'm not sure about is whether or not you have a concussion. That's why I wanted to go to the hospital." He says, "You were out for a while…" his voice trails off. I can tell he's trying to convince me that I need to go to the hospital.

"I don't think I have a concussion." I say firmly, all he does is nod. "What?" I ask, did I do something wrong?

"Do you now how scared I was? How _angry_ I was." He speaks through clenched teeth; this is hard on him too.

"What did you do to them?" I'm not worried about what he could do; I know he could never be capable of turning into Marcus, like Andrew did. He looks at me sorrowfully.

"I tried Tris, I didn't want them to get away. I just couldn't-,"

"You didn't want to feel like Marcus, I understand." I interrupt. "But what did you do to them?"

"Al and Peter got away, I had to drop Drew off at the infirmary after though. He said that they were just trying to scare you, but he also said they were planning on taking turns…" he gulps before continuing, "Raping you. At least I think that's what he was trying to say." His voice is small, like a child's but as he mentions the 'rape' part his hands close tightly into fists.

"Is he in bad shape?" I ask.

"He'll live. In what condition I can't say." He says bitterly but once it's out he averts his eyes, looking at his shoes in shame. He's always worried he'll be like Marcus, even though that's impossible. It still haunts his dreams, he's still scared that one day I'd look at him like I was disgusted, that Marcus could leave a crack so wide in him that he couldn't be mended, that one day he'd snap and hit me or something. I grip onto his arm, and he looks up at me with fear all over his face.

"Good," In that one word I'm assuring him that I don't think he was wrong, and he isn't. I give him the _'it's ok'_ look and find a small smile to give him.

For a while we stay like that until I remember something.

"How am I going to face them all tomorrow?" He gives me a look.

"You're going to have to go in tomorrow morning with your head held high. Show them all that they had no effect on you. Don't worry I'll be right there, besides you still have all of our other friends to rely on."

"I thought I was… why'd Al-?" I can't continue. Why couldn't I have just told Al off?

"He wanted you to be weak and to want him as much as he wanted you, maybe it would be good if you showed some vulnerability. If you do they won't bother you. I don't like it either but Tris..." he lifts my chin to meet his eyes; those eyes that never fail to comfort me.

"I would rather you were safe than right." He continues. I nod slowly, fighting back tears.

He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls me into his strong arms; I don't cry until he says,

"You don't have to pretend around me." That's when I let it go, let that strong barrier collapse.

He's the only one who's ever been able to do that and I'm glad. It makes me feel like he has a part of me in his heart, just like I have a part of him in mine. I'm the only one who knows his name after all so I let my tears fall, and oh I cry, tears fall in a steady stream down my face, wetting his shirt, my shoulders shake, my entire body shakes, I try to take deep breathes but my breath hitches and I can't calm down, he absently rubs my back, pressing me loser to his chest, kissing my hair, and whispering calming things until I stop. And when I do I stay like that, in his loving protective arms crying until I eventually fall asleep.

**A/N What do you guys think? Good or Bad? **

**Have any ideas or suggestions for me? Things you need me to explain? Things you want me to change? Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N This chapter is horrible please bear with me, i might update again, but it depends on how may reviews this gets. **

**Disclaimer: Veronice Roth, owns divergent, i don't.**

TOBIAS' POV

As Tris drifts off I lay awake and watch her sleep, she looks peaceful when she sleeps, younger. Like Andrew doesn't beat her, that her mom didn't die, that she didn't get attacked and almost raped just a couple hours ago, like Caleb doesn't try- I can't even think about it anymore. It's not fair that this has happened to her, the worst part? There nothing anybody can do about it.

Marcus comes back in a few days, I can't imagine what that means for the both of us since neither of them have any business trips planned for an entire 2 months. They are hardly ever here for this long without a trip so it's going to be hard. Tris and I practically live on our own, not that I'm complaining. I would much rather live with Tris away from our "fathers" than the alternative. In fact the only reason I haven't left yet, being 18 now, is because of Tris. I could never leave her, or pull her out of school. She's only a junior. So I stay but once she graduates even though we haven't really discussed it, it's decided that we'll leave this place together. And lets just say that the reason she takes almost all AP classes is not just because of her good grades.

PAGE BREAK

We don't get up after that, in fact the next time I wake up is because of my stupid alarm clock. I glance at Tris who still sleeps in my arms, neither of us moved at all last night.

"Tris," I whisper, she squirms a little but doesn't get up, just snuggles closer to my chest and I have to say it's pretty adorable and amazing that she can still act like a little kid even after all she's been through.

That's the biggest difference between us, after what I went through it's made me appear older and stronger while on the inside I'm just a miserable coward.

For Tris it's the opposite, she looks like someone with baggage, you can see it on her face, in her eyes, no matter how hard she tries to cover it up but inside she's a fighter, she's brave and she's _not_ weak at all.

"Come on Tris," I say laughing a little. She moans something that sounds like '5 more minutes' and keeps her eyes shut.

"Trissy…." Her eyes snap open at the nickname she hates, just to glare at me. She sighs and rolls on her back.

"Toby." She greets me and I roll my eyes, collapsing onto my back too.

"Ok I get it, no nicknames." She smiles contently.

"Good," she says and turns onto her side to look at me, resting her head on her hand that's propped up on her elbow. I turn over so that I'm in the same position and I look into her eyes. The light that peaks through the window makes them look more blue than grey but they're still as piercing as ever. We stay like that looking into each other's eyes for a while; it's times like this when we're not doing anything. Just enjoying the quiet that makes me most at peace.

"You know you have really pretty eyes." I say softly, reaching out and resting my hand on her check, my thumb caressing her cheekbone gently. She blushes and looks down, suddenly very interested with the sheets; I frown and lift her chin up with the hand that was just on her cheek.

"Hey look at me," she slowly raises her head to meet my eyes again and I move my hand to the position it was in at first. "You are beautiful, ok? It doesn't matter what anybody says, you are." I say remember the bullies and her father and Caleb and countless others who have told her she isn't. Liars. She just goes back to pretending to have a fascination with the sheets.

"Tris, come on. You know you believe it." She shakes her head and I see a tear roll down her cheek and drip from her chin. I just kiss her forehead, in a friendly way; I've been doing since we were little. Whenever I would comfort her and I know she's used to it by now.

"You know what, I think I'm gonna go take a shower…" my voice trails off and her head snaps up, since she was 13 and she would stay here when Marcus was away, like I did and still do when Andrew is away we always fought over the shower because she claimed that she had to go first because I used up all of the hot water while I said the same about her. But in recent years I may or may not have, after threat after threat promised that I would give it to her first although sometimes, like now I like to tease her.

"Oh no you're not!" she shoots out of bed and starts to race towards the only bathroom, soon we're racing to get there first and I being the great guy I am let her win. Sort of…

PAGE BREAK

The morning goes like usual, we pull into school and Tris is almost immediately killed then taken away by Christina, then I and head over to find Zeke which usually means some of the guys on the football team like his younger bother Uriah and Will, not Peter, Drew or Al though.

Peter and Al…Ugh wait until I get my hands on them. I already know that Drew won't be a problem; he was in pretty bad shape yesterday. Then I go to first period which is sadly not with Tris and I usually lose my temper with anybody and everybody, it is first period after all and as much as I know it's wrong to lean on her as much as I do, to need her as much as I do I still do, but most of my other classes are with Tris, thank god she takes so many AP classes, those usually go way better.

At lunch, I walk in and sit with Tris who I notice looks a little pale and zoned out. I lean close after I slide into my seat next to her,

"You ok?" I whisper, she jumps but relaxes when she realizes that it's me. She nods but I can tell she's not; I make a mental note to ask her later.

I sigh and turn towards the rest of the group, Zeke and Uriah are fighting again, Christina and will are making out again, Shauna and Lauren are drooling over every guy that walks by again, although I do catch Shauna staring at Zeke longingly, they both have huge crushes on each other but Zeke being the idiot he is doesn't realize it, Lynn is flirting with an oblivious Marlene, again. And of course Tris is pretending to be fine and I'm pretending I don't notice…again. Yea everything's normal.

** A/N I know this is short and like nothing happened but i didn't really feel like writing, i might update again tonight if i get enough reviews. SO review, pleassssseeee!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Ok i got some reviews so i thought what the heck i'll update. Anyway i'm really excited about this chapter it's one of my favorites! So yeah enjoy and let me know what you think**

**Disclaimer:**

**Owner of Divergent: Veronice Roth**

**Not owner of Divergent: Me**

CHAPTER 5 TOBIAS POV

After school we decide that while Andrew's still at work we should go over to her house she can get some more clothes, it's Wednesday and Marcus comes back Saturday so we still have few days alone but as we pull up on my motorcycle Tris sees it before I do, Andrew's car parked in the driveway. I'm about to pull back out when I see a figure standing in the doorway. Can't turn back now, he saw us. I feel Tris' arms tighten around from where she holds on to me, I look back at her but she just rests her forehead between my shoulder blades, takes a deep breath and reluctantly gets off the motorcycle. I stand up too, I don't think he'll do anything with me here but he can be pretty unpredictable. I take Tris' hand as we walk up the steps to the door, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Too soon we stand in front of Tris's father, only he isn't her father, really. He doesn't deserve to get to call Tris his, to have ever even known her really. It takes every ounce to keep it together, to not lose it and do what I've wanted to do since I was 12.

"Where have you been Beatrice?" he asks, she grips my arm so hard I don't doubt she's leaving a mark but I could care less.

"School sir." She says meekly, trying to be good, to be selfless. He shoots her a look and she tries not to cower, I squeeze her hand as hard as possible and she squeezes back so much it almost hurts but neither her nor I care. He stares at me, studying me. Making sure I haven't tried anything, especially with Marcus out of town. I hear a phone ring form inside, thank god.

"Be careful Tobias." He says through gritted teeth before turning on his heel to go answer his phone. Leaving us alone at the door. The second his office door shuts she goes inside, shutting the door closed and starts to run quickly but silently up the stairs towards her room in record speed. I follow her and the second I shut her bedroom door behind her she yanks a pillow off the bed and throws it as hard as she can across the room. There's pain and anger all over her beautiful face as she sits on her bed, jaw clenched, teeth gritted, knuckles white, her nails digging into her palms trying not to attack something, not to scream, to stay sane.

TRIS POV

I _HATE_ HIM! I HATE HIM _SO_ MUCH! It takes everything in me not to- to I don't even know. I throw a pillow across the room biting back the curses and screams and just incoherent ramblings that want to escape from my mouth. I sit on my bed trying to let the frustration wash over but instead it heats it up, I may be biting them back but in my head I'm screaming and swearing and tearing him apart. It doesn't last long though, soon I just feel so overwhelmed I can't do anything but cry, sob really. Letting it all spill out. I can't even wipe my tears away or move, let alone stop. I just sit there sobbing until two strong and safe arms wrap around me, I had forgotten Tobias was there. Usually I'd apologize or tell him I'm ok but now I can't do anything but cling to him, holding on to him. I can't let go of him now.

"I- I," I choke on another sob before I can say anything else. I didn't even know we could be so close before but now he still presses my body closer to his, I feel like we aren't even two separate people anymore.

"Don't." he tells me after my attempt to speak again, "Just- don't."

So I don't try anymore, just cry into him, letting me hold him for once. He always comforts me although not in the way he wants to, he wants to hold me like this every time he sees me in even the slightest bit of pain, usually I don't let him but it's like I can't even control it anymore.

Eventually I run out of tears but neither of us actually pulls away until I hear Andrew's cold malicious voice calling me downstairs. As I'm letting go of Tobias he squeezes me, crushing me to his chest even closer than before, holding me there. I can tell he doesn't want to let me go and when I look back up at him he's already looking at me, his eyes are glassy.

"Please don't go." He whispers, so quietly I barely hear him.

I look down at my lap just as I hear Andrew call me again, he sounds much less patient this time I squeeze Tobias before pulling away, making a vain attempt to wipe my eyes. I walk down the stairs and a met with my fathers hazel eyes that used to comfort me but now mean pain.

"Yes father?" I ask nicely almost gently like I'm comforting him, taking care of him even.

"I just got off the phone with Marcus, I'm going to go help him with the project. I'll be back Saturday, and I think I'm going to arrange a surprise for you. It's about time you and I celebrated something together." Fear and panic shoots through me this cannot be good. I have no idea what he's planning but I just hope it distracts him enough to get me out of here.

"Wh- when do you leave?" I stutter, his expression changes from his mask to the expression full of evil and anger that he saves for me.

"Don't you dare question me." He demands and slaps my cheek. "I'm leaving now." That explains why he won't try to kill me tonight. I nod and he looks at me expectantly. He wants me to say goodbye? After he threatened me? I wrap my arms around him and tell him that I'll miss him or something and he leaves the house, but not before kicking me in the shin forcefully. I don't move until his car is probably out of the neighborhood and Tobias creeps down the stairs making sure no-one's home. He sees me standing there, staring at nothing at the bottom of the stairs and lets out a breath before coming over, hesitantly and carefully wrapping his arms around me, kissing my temple and whispering,

"Lets go." All I can do is nod weakly, I don't even know if I can move anymore. He lets go but I still don't move so he takes my hand and we walk home, leaving his motorcycle in my driveway. I don't feel like riding it right now, I just want to go home with him and stay in his arms.

So that's what we do for the rest of the night, when we get to his house we sit on the couch not talking. Eventually he puts an arm around me, reminding me that I don't need to pretend around him so I move closer, burying my face in his chest, I don't cry though just let him hold me close. Neither of us talks after that, just stay in the same place. Forgetting about homework and our phones going off from presumable texts from our friends, about Marcus and Andrew and Caleb, and anything else distracting us from each other. In fact if I could stay here with Tobias away from the rest of the world well that would be perfect.

**A/N Oh My God I love this chapter! Please let me know what you think! Review and i'll update sooner!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Wow you guys really wanted me to update, so this chapter is kinda random but I planned on some of this stuff happeneing and i thought this might be a good pace to put it. **

**DISCLAIMER: Veronice roth owns divergent. I do not.**

TRIS POV

I have a hard time falling asleep that night, every time I shut my eyes, visions and memories of Caleb, and the years of abuse and suffering I went through over take me and I wake with a start.

After the first couple times, Tobias gives up on trying and sits with his back against the head board, holding me in his arms, staying awake all night while I sleep.

"Sleep." He whispers after a few minutes of just laying there, I paralyzed with fear too scared of seeing Caleb again.

"I can't." I mumble, not even with the protection of his arms, creating a barrier between the rest of the world and me.

"Sleep," he repeats, "I'll fight the nightmares away." He adds.

"With what?"

"My bare hands of course, now go to sleep." And I do, I fall asleep and I don't have any more bad-dreams but I still dream.

_My arms snake around his neck, my slender fingers weaving through his dark hair, staring into his dark eyes._

_One of his strong arms loops around my slim waist, reaching all the way around, the other reaching the back of my head, slipping his fingers through my blonde hair, his breathing mixed with mine. He looks down at me and gives me a small smile; I return it best I can before reaching up on my toes where our lips meet._

_With his lips on mine, moving in a soft, slow rhythm I feel something I haven't felt for a long time. _

_Before my mother died, when my family-, well when I had a family, when we were whole and happy and everything was perfect._

_Now only Tobias can make me feel this way, and in this moment with him I feel…complete_

I jolt awake, breathing heavily, what was that?

I can't believe I just had a dream about Tobias and I…together… like that.

I glance over at his sleeping figure, he looks so much more his age when he sleeps, when he's awake he's alert and on guard, acting much older than he is. At only 18 he's dealt with more than most people do their whole lives.

I stay like that in his arms, examining his face closely, waiting for sleep to over take me, when he flinches.

He mumbles something incoherent, that I don't quite catch.

Then he rolls over, his breath hitches, and he cries out again, he starts shaking like crazy, his breathing becomes more and more labored, then he cries out again, louder this time like he's mad.

"Tobias." I whisper, scooting over closer to him,

"Tobias wake up." I hiss. He doesn't respond then he cries out in pain again.

"Tobias." I shove his arm, he mumbles something, and all I pick up is a sob.

"Tobias its ok, I'm here." I say soothe until his eyes snap open and meet mine. He pants, staring at me for a second, processing what just happened in his dream.

Then he buries me in a hug, holding me so tight it hurts and I struggle to breath, he's so strong. He hides his face in my neck, burying it in my hair, trying to conceal the sob he lets out the sound of him breaking apart crushes me, it makes me want to cry too. I cling to him, letting him hold onto me, calming down.

I don't know how long we stay like that but when he lets go I feel immediately cold without his warmth.

"I'm sorry." He says in a strained voice, looking down in shame.

"Don't." I order harshly. "Don't go there."

He just nods, looking down again, looking like a scared little boy. It scares me Tobias has always been strong and its not like I've never see him cry but still the idea that his dreams could break him like that…

I take a deep breath and glance at the clock its 3am.

I know neither of us are going back to sleep so I simply get up, grab his hand and we walk down the creaky stairs of the little abnegation where the two of us have been kept prisoner, where our nightmares take place, where we have been beaten and broken time and time again for our entire lives.

Where Tobias watched his mother die and where Caleb raped me repeatedly.

Yet strangely this place has happy memories as well, I mean this place has been my safety as well, I came here whenever I needed to get away from Andrew and Caleb, it gives me a feeling of security knowing that Tobias is always here and that once I have Tobias with me everything will be ok.

Once we get downstairs, Tobias goes to Marcus' office, I already know why and I'm not going to stop him. He comes out with a full bottle of rum and takes a big swig, sits down on the floor, with his back against the wall. I steal it and gulp it down before handing it back.

He and I were alcoholics by the time I was 14 and he was 15, we got caught and sent to a guidance councilor and well it didn't go well when our fathers found out, we both got in a ton of trouble, and they bribed the councilor to keep quiet, not wanting to ruin their reputations. We're recovered now but occasionally like today when we can't handle it anymore we drink it all away.

Page break

When I wake up next, I am curled up next Tobias who is out like a light. There are like 6 empty bottles on the floor, around us, the air is thick and reeks of a horrible mixture of rum and vodka all together, my head is throbbing intensely and I feel like I'm going to vomit.

I miraculously make it to the bathroom and throw everything up.

I feel Tobias next to me holding my hair back, rubbing my back.

I look back at him…his hang over is so obvious!

Ugh what are we going to do? We can't go to school looking like that, if we get caught there's no way Marcus and Andrew wouldn't find out.

"We can't go to school." I point out once we've cleaned up the living room carpet; apparently Tobias threw up once he woke up then came to help me.

I am now looking through the kitchen in search of some pain relievers while Tobias finishes up throwing out the empty bottles.

"We have to." He says.

"But it's so obvious that we're hung over."

"Well what's worse, ditching and without a doubt them finding out or going with a hangover with a slight chance we could get away with it?"

"Fine we'll go." Just as I say it I spot the pain meds, up on the top shelf, way too high for me to reach, it would probably be hard for Tobias to reach and he's over a foot taller than me.

I know exactly why they're up there. I swallow the lump in my throat remembering all the times I ever tried to overdose…too many to count.

I reach up as high as I can but I just can't reach it. I spread my fingers out trying to get it; it's just too high.

Just when I'm about to give up Tobias' arm reaches up and grabs it with ease for me, but doesn't hand it to me, he still doesn't trust me. He takes one out for me and two for him…based on our sizes and hands it to me.

We take them and when I look at the clock its almost 7.

I run up the stairs, take a quick shower, and open the little cabinet for towels, but instead my clothes are stored.

I quickly throw on some black skinny jeans, one of Tobias' smallest shirts and an over sized pull over hoodie with the dauntless high logo on it. My hair is thin so it doesn't take long to dry on its own, and it looks pretty good so I leave it down.

I examine my face in the mirror I don't usually wear any make up but today I need to hide the hang over so I get my cover up and apply it all around my eyes, I add enough to make it look almost normal and run downstairs.

Once I get downstairs Tobias takes a minute to look at me, he examines my face, my clothes, once I start feeling insecure he stops and walks past me to go take a shower but as he passes me in the doorway he bends down a little to whisper something in my ear,

"You look good Tris." It was so quiet I hardly catch it but when it register I turn to tell him to shut up but he's already half way up the stairs and soon I hear the shower running.

**A/N Ok this was kinda short and not much happened but thats just what happened after the last chapter so yeah, I don't know if I'll update again tonight, maybe if I get a bunch of reviews but still, not sure. I need ideas! I want to know what you guys want to see! So ya'll better review!**

**Upcoming: I plan on introducing Marcus, Eric and Caleb and Susan eventually just not yet.**

**Tris and Tobias will get together, just not all at once, I think that they're both too damaged to get together just like that**

**You definetly haven't seen the last of Peter and the rest of the bullies at school**

**So yeah anyway, let me know what you think and what you want to see in reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thank you guys so much for the reviews, i love you all, and i appreciate the ideas and suggestions more than you can imagine! Let me know what you guys think**

**Disclaimer: I dont own Divergent, that belongs to Veronice Roth**

Chapter 7

As I walk through the crowded hallways, pushing past people, forcing my way through to my locker, I try not to draw too much attention to myself, still trying to hide the hangover, although probably failing miserable.

Tobias walks with me, glaring at anybody that even looks at me wrong, he's so protective! I've almost made it to my locker when mid step somebody trips me, making me crash into the cold, dirty, tile floor, with a smack when my skin slams down onto it.

"Nice going stiff," taunts Peter. I don't respond. I don't look at them.

Tobias pulls me up firmly, his hand gripping my forearm, lifting me off the ground. Then we continue walking as if it never happened.

"What's wrong stiff? You look a little dazed and confused…" Peter's girlfriend Molly says, coming up behind me.

"Oh wait you always look like that." She laughs, her horrible laugh.

"Oh come on Molly, its not like she can understand you, she's a little slow if you know what I mean." Peter says, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. The two of them begin walking towards us.

I bite my lip and keep my head down, trying to block them out.

Tobias quickens his pace, pulling me away from them.

His jaw clenched and his teeth gritted. He looks like he's about to explode.

"Just ignore them." He mutters.

"Hmm I wonder why. Maybe it's because of what happened when she was a kid…" Molly calls after me. I stop, stare at the floor, and draw in a sharp breath.

"Ooohh so I'm right." She sneers.

I turn around, my hands clenched into fists, rage pulsing through me, that was so unbelievably wrong, even for Molly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I spit?

At this point everybody is watching us.

"Oh you know exactly what I mean stiff." She smirks.

"No actually I don't, I'm pretty slow you know." My words are like venom. She laughs again, more like cackles actually.

"Oh come on, we all know it. Oh yes we all know about how your mommy died, then after that nobody saw your daddy anymore, what ever happened to him huh?"

"Shut up." I spit.

"Ohhh why is daddy such a sensitive subject?" she asks smugly. I don't know where I get my bravery to but I do, I glare at her sharply, standing my ground but I stay quiet.

"So tell me Trissy," she hisses, stepping closer to me, "Why do you keep daddy a secret?"

I stare at her blankly, no emotion at all crossing my face. I hear Tobias mutter my name, warning me but I ignore him.

"Why so silent?"

"I… I-"

"Hmm maybe it's because he hits you. Oh yes that must be it, does daddy hit you stiff?"

I stare at her in disbelief.

"So I'm right huh? Or maybe its not just daddy, is it your brother too? Does he hit you? Or maybe he touches you! That's it isn't it stiff!"

"Shut up Molly, now."

"I'm not done yet stiff, so where was I? Oh yes your brother, is that why you're so scared of, oh what was it, oh yeah Intimacy. Is that why you've never had a boyfriend? Because you're so dirty? Oh I know! That's why only Four likes you, right? Because he went through the same kinda stuff."

At the mention of Tobias I lose it, I storm up to her, yank her hair and shove her into the lockers; even though I'm small I can still fight back. I press my forearm against her neck.

"What the hell?!" I growl. She just smirks.

"Just think about it, nobody knows his daddy either, it all makes sense. So _that's_ why you guys are so close!"

A sound escapes my throat that isn't human as I knock her over. Jamming my fist into her already messed up, crooked nose.

"Shut up!" I growl, she tries to fight back with a pathetic kick to my side, which I easily block, knocking her to the ground.

I kick her over and over, before straddling her and punching wherever I can, as hard as I possibly can.

She screams but I ignore her, soon her nose is gushing blood, and bruises all over her body are starting to form but I keep hitting her.

"Somebody get this crazy bitch off me!" she screams but nobody does anything.

"Don't ever say anything like that again!" I snarl, then just as I'm about to hit her again, I feel a pair of arms lift me up. I fight against them, hurling myself at her body again, and start kicking her in the head and the side. By now her body is swollen and as the owner of the arms pulling me back, pulls me away from her, I see her gargle and cough up blood.

"Enough." Tobais whispers, bending down to reach my ear. I take a deep breath, calming myself down. I turn to face him, terrified that he'll be disgusted or angry of me, but surprisingly his face is calm.

"I'm, I'm sorry. When she brought you into it I just lost it." I stutter, looking at the ground in shame.

"Tris." He says, "It's alright. I'm just scared for you."

"Yeah me too, well we don't have to worry about the hangover thing now."

"Yeah I guess." He says, and glances around, before staring down at his shoes.

"Tobias. Everything's going to be ok." I say, not sure whom I'm trying to convince.

"Let's just get to class, I'll see you next period." He says, and begins walking down the hall.

PAGE BREAK

TOBIAS POV

I feel Tris' eyes on me as I walk down the hall away from her but not towards my class, nowhere near it actually, I'm heading towards my locker.

When I get there Molly is gone, most likely at the infirmary, but Peter and rest of the crowd that was there before still hang around, laughing and being.

I march right up to Peter, I know I could easily take him and he does too, he shrinks back a tiny bit, fear evident in his eyes although he tries to mask it. I grab him by the hair, and slam him into the lockers harshly.

"What the-"

"Get out" I growl, and the hallway empties. "How did you find out?" I snarl.

"What?"

"Shut up, how did you know?" I say in a dangerously low voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about" he spits; an inhuman growl escapes my throat.

"Tell me," I'm yelling now.

"I-,"

"Four! Stop it!" Tris yells behind me, I can hear her footsteps approaching behind me.

"Shit," I mutter and release Peter before turning to face a fuming Tris.

"What's' going on?" she asks, glaring at both of us.

"Nothing." I mutter, I glance at the clock in the hallway first period is long over.

"Lets just go to class." She says, tugging on my arm and we walk together towards our class, leaving Peter by the lockers in shock.

** A/N I don't know about you guys but im excited to see what happens next, should be interesting. Anyway thank you so much for all your ideas and reviews you guys are the best! Anyway the more reviews i get the sooner i'll update.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N This chapter isn't great but i kinda just wrote it off the top of my head, thank you for all the reviews! It means the world to me! **

**Warning: There is self harm in this chapter so yeah just if you dont wanna read that...just be careful here**

**DISCLAIMER: Veronica Roth owns divergent, i do not.**

CHAPTER 8 TRIS POV

My hand curls into a fist as the tiny silver blade drags across the pale skin on my wrist, it's unbelievable how a tiny tiny cut, that's not even deep could sting _so_ bad.

I can hear distantly people entering and leaving the bathroom at school but it all seems so far away, I've been hiding in this stall for a half hour…

I drag it along my skin again, wincing at the pain but I continue, making tiny, short little lines all over my wrist.

You'd think that I'd be hysterical and crying when I take out my blades, but no, it's exactly the opposite, it's when I'm here taking them out that I am most at peace.

I don't cut deep, just enough to leave a mark and cause a burning sensation to come from my arm but I ignore it as I pull the sleeve of my hoodie back down, and step out of the bathroom.

I take a minute to look at myself in the mirror, I wasn't crying so I shouldn't look too bad or anything, it shouldn't be noticeable but I'm still scared of getting caught so I check anyway.

Nothing different, my face is completely clear, even the hangover's gone. I shrug, grab my backpack and walk back out just in time for last period.

I sit in the back, next to Tobias. He stares at me for a second and right as he opens his mouth to say something the bell rings and the teacher starts the class.

TOBIAS POV

I can't believe she started again! After everything she went through to recover she just threw it all away.

I'm not _mad_ at her…it's more like I'm hurt.

She doesn't need to do that, but she still does. I guess it's like her addiction. Not like im one to talk I started self-harming when I was 12 and didn't stop until a year later when I realized something.

I realized that I needed to stop being selfish, I needed to be there and to stay strong for Tris, I had to find my purpose, my reason to live, I realized that everybody has one its just a matter of finding it.

But now it's my Tris… who can't find that reason to live, who hasn't come to that realization, and let me tell you its just as hard if not more coming form my point of view, I just feel so helpless, there's nothing I can do. And I would do anything for her but this, as much as I wish I could, I can't.

I turn back around in my seat, not meeting her eye for the rest of class, not even when the teacher assigns us as partners. Its once we get out of class that I do talk to her.

We're standing in the hall; she leans against the wall, staring at her shows. I walk up to her until I'm standing right in front of her very close. I lift her chin up forcing her to look at me her eyes are watery.

"Hey…I'm just worried about you." I say glancing at her wrists. "Do you wanna talk about it?" she bites her lip, and shakes her head, tossing pieces of light blonde hair around, standing out boldly against her black hoodie.

I sigh and pull her into my arms. We stay like that for a while, my chin rested on the top of her head and her arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Are you ok?" I ask. She nods against my chest and I kiss her forehead gently before pulling away, cold at the loss of contact, I take her hand and squeeze it.

"Lets go." She says and we start towards my bike.

PAGE BREAK TRIS POV

As we walk out of school, down the steps my phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket and see it's Chris. I roll my eyes, she's already calling me and we're probably still in the same building. I press it to my ear bored.

"Miss me already Chris?" I ask.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm having a party Friday night and youre coming."

"I can't" I say, I need to be home the day before Andrew and Marcus plans on coming home, we just need to be careful.

"Uh you're coming."

"No chance."

"I wasn't asking, you're coming whether you like it or not."

"Christina I couldn't if I wanted to."

"Too bad, work it out. I'll see you at 9 Friday, k k bye!" she trills, speaking at the speed of light. I groan, hang up, and lean against Tobias, he chuckles and wraps an arm around my waist.

"We can't go." I mutter.

"Yeah we can, we just can't get drunk and we can't stay too long." I sigh I hate this. I hate living like this. I can't live like this anymore.

"Tobias." I say, he stops in his tracks and looks at me. "I'm sorry."

I mutter, his eyes never leaving mine.

"What for?"

"Everything, losing it with Molly, letting them somehow find out, starting again, bothering you so much with everything, and-"

"Stop." He cuts me off.

"None of this is your fault. Everything is so hard on you, you don't need to be hard on yourself."

"Ok." I mumble staring at my shoes again, he takes my hand and we continue walking to his bike. I'm beyond ready for this day to be over.

**A/N Sorry if this sucked, i have tons of home work and i dion't know when i'll be able to update again so i figured i piece this together and give you all somehting. So yeah tell me waht you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Sorry it took so long to update and this chapter is totally a filler but i thought it was better than nothing so here you go...**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Divergent, I'm just a little 14 year old girl that wishes she did.**

TRIS POV

_Come on Tris you can do this_

I repeat over and over in my head until I believe it.

I take a deep breath, and slowly approach it. My dress.

Tonight's the night of Christina's party that I have been dreading since she first drafted Tobias and I to go.

The dress lies innocently on Tobias' made bed, against his black bedspread it almost blends except for the lace.

I don't usually, scratch that, I do not wear dresses.

Not because I don't like them or anything, no that would be a stupid excuse, but because I have so much to hide.

_This is so wrong_

I think as I advance towards it

Why? I can think of plenty of reasons why

I have too many scars and too many bruises and cuts and… I'm too damaged to show that much skin.

If someone were to see… I inhale a sharp breath, bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut. Don't cry. That's not going to happen.

I have so much to hide, too many secrets, and somehow by being so exposed I feel like you cannot only see the body I hide from everyone but my secrets too.

On top of all that I have Andrew to worry about, if he saw that thing on me he'd probably try to kill me.

If he found out I went to a party… I shiver at the thought.

My knees hit the bed frame and I'm standing right in front of it, the dress is black and goes to my knees, it has cap sleeves, it's covered in black lace, the neck line is square and it shows my collar bones.

I stare at it like you would an animal, standing still, holding my breath as if not to frighten it.

_This is it, no going back now._

My hands shake as I reach out and hold it up in front of me, taking in the features of it one more time before slowly unzipping it and dropping the towel wrapped around my body.

I step into it and pull it up, enveloping my body in the soft material. Once its on, I've zipped it back up, and adjusted it where it needs adjusting I glance down at my body. It fits perfectly.

I shut my eyes and step out into the hallway, Tobias is downstairs so I don't have to worry about him seeing me yet, and walk towards the hallway closet, since his house is identical to mine I know exactly where it is.

I slide the panel open where I know the mirror is, and sure enough its still there. I cautiously step forward to get a good look. Once I'm close enough I stare into my own dull blue gray eyes for a moment too scared to look at the rest of my body.

When I do I wish I hadn't, I swallow the lump in my throat as I stare at my body one feature at a time.

My legs, skinny with no shape, stick like really, covered in bruises but I know most of the damage is hidden because the dress covers my thighs but I know hat I would see, I've memorized each scar so carefully i can imagine them without seeing them.

Each line that I put there myself, all over the top of my thighs. Well as long as they're hidden.

My arms, there are scratches and bruises in the shape of fingers and hands and places where his nails have dug into my skin.

The marks are dark and bold and stand out against the little bits of normal pale skin in between each discoloration and contusion.

I run a hand gently up my forearm running them over the handprints so deeply etched into my skin, it's the same on both arms.

You can just scarcely see the welt on my shoulder from the last time around my sleeve but its only noticeable if you look for it or you know its there.

My wrists are covered, every inch of them in self-harm scars, its painful to look at. Mostly just tiny ones all over barely any long thick ones just short deep ones.

I sigh and look back at my face; I already did my make up so the already barely visible scar across my cheek is now non-existent. My entire face actually is completely normal, you can't tell at all.

I wear minimal make up, plenty of cover up, simple winged eyeliner, a little lip-gloss and mascara.

My hair is light light light blonde, thin, naturally wavy and falls to middle of my back, and it looks ok so I left it how it is, letting it sit and frame my face.

I sigh and check the rest of my body for anything to hide but luckily the one and only dress I own covers quite a bit, I just have to find a jacket of some sort and if I can't I'll end up covering my arms completely with make up or something and that would be horrible so I'm just hoping I find one.

I move back into Tobias' room, he was ready an hour ago so I have the rest of the hour until we need to leave, which is more than enough time, but I don't feel rushed so I can take my time.

Now its time to cover up, I decided on a pair of plain gray tights to cover my legs, and for my arms I still don't know.

"Hey Tobias!" I call.

"Yeah?" he calls up the stairs.

"I need a jacket." There's a pause but he does finally say

"One second." I sit on the bed, pulling my combat boots on gently, trying to distract myself from my nervousness about the party by singing quietly to myself. I haven't actually sung since my mom died but I really can sing, well at least Tobias says so.

"Tris?" I hear a soft knock on the door. My breath hitches, im not ready for him to see me yet.

"Tris its ok, here I'll leave it right outside the door for you, ok?"

"Ok." I say, my voice cracking at the end. I don't open the door until I hear his feet on the stairs are gone and I know he's all the way down stairs before opening the door and grabbing the black jacket off the door handle and pulling it into the room with me.

The jacket is simple and plain, it has quarter sleeves and its leather, I pull it on and adjust it a little although it fits perfect.

I end up covering my wrists with make up but it's better than my entire arms. Then just to be safe I put on some bracelets and strategically place them where the scars will most likely be noticed.

"Hey Tris." I hear Tobias call from down stairs.

"Yeah?"

"Unless you wanna be late we have to leave now."

This is it; everybody's going to see me, including Tobias.

I take a deep breath and make sure I have everything I need, well really I'm just stalling but I check the room one last time before opening the door and softly making my way downstairs.

PAGE BREAK

She takes a moment to answer but soon I hear quiet steps down the stairs. With every creak of the stair case my heart jumps, I hardly saw her at all today, what with school and then coming home and taking like an hour long shower and taking more time to get ready than humanly possible.

Its not like she takes a long time to get ready for the same reason as most girls, but because she's scared and nervous and obviously dreading this whole thing, she hesitates at the last step but doesn't run back up the stairs, she's facing this head on.

When she turns the corner its like time slows, my jaw drops but I close it back up not wanting to make her uncomfortable. She's so beautiful.

She looks like nothing short of an angel, at this point nothing compares to what I'm looking at now. A grin slowly creeps onto my face and I can't control it, I don't say anything as her eyes find mine, just walk over to her and take her tiny hands in mine, pulling her close so I can kiss the top of her head but this time it feels different.

Being this close to her feels different, everywhere we touch feels different.

My entire life her touch has been my comfort, my safety, my home but now it feels…more than that.

I honestly can't explain how that kind of love for someone could grow so substantially but it did.

She gives me a small sweet smile and buries her face in my chest, wrap my arms around her, resting them on the small of her back.

"We should go." She mumbles after a minute or so. I groan that's the last thing I want to right now.

"But Tris" I whine she laughs and pulls away.

"Come on, Chris is going to kill us if we don't show up." I chuckle and grab my keys.

This should be interesting,

PAGE BREAK TRIS POV

Because Christine lives in Candor, which is about a half hour from abnegation it takes us a while to get there so when we eventually do we're late. And Christina didn't like it.

The second I step into the house, holding hands with Tobias she yanks my wrist which is still tender and I pull it away harshly, she looks at me confused and when she sees the obvious upset look on my face she sighs and gives me a sympathetic look, she knows I hate this. She takes my hand gently and pulls me away towards the kitchen.

The second we get there she shoves a tall brunette in a slutty dress and an extremely tall boy with long blonde skater hair who were making out, out of the room and turns on me.

She begins to ramble out a ton of questions,

"Where were you? You were supposed to be here forever ago! What's with you and Four, are you dating? I mean holding hands and… I mean I wouldn't be surprised! Why didn't you tell me about that dress? And-"

She stops when she sees my face and notices my breathing change, I'm starting to hyperventilate.

_I can't do this I can't do this_.

"Tris? OMG you're having a panic attack, hey come here." She wraps her arms around me; I stiffen at first but end up wrapping my arms around her, tears threatening to spill. _Not here._

I feel my insides vibrating, panic in my chest; I can't wrap my head around it all, I feel suddenly completely overwhelmed. I cant see clearly, my breathing starts hitching even more, I feel like I could just collapse right here.

"Tris what's wrong? What can I do?" I used to have anxiety attacks all the time in middle school but hardly ever anymore so she must know if I'm having one it must be pretty bad.

"I...I just… I don't know…. its just-" I stutter, hurriedly, I can't even finish a sentence, I can't think clearly.

"Shhh Tris its ok. Calm down." I nuzzle my head in her neck I can't stop shaking.

"Christina," I cry.

"Ok um…let's see," she thinks aloud, she's trying to think of something to help me. "Oh I know! Ok Tris look at me," she pulls away with her hands on my shoulders looking me in the eye.

"Ok on a scale of 1-10 how is it?" she looks at me like I could break at any second with pity all over her face. I hate that look.

I look at my shoes stuttering, my breathing still heavy.

"Umm, uh ok probably a… a 7? 8? I don't know!" I cry.

"OK that's good Tris now I want you to- here sit down." She leads me to sit on one of the bar stools behind the kitchen island.

"K now tell me what's bothering you."

"I..I just I don't… I can't do this!"

"Ok good, now I want you to tell me what you want."

"What do you mean?" I whine

"I mean what can I do to help you."

"I don't know…I- I don't like all the questions, or that it's so loud or that everybody is gonna see me in this…" I say pointing to the dress, "Or that people are gonna want me to drink and-" I stop because I'm not making any sense anymore.

"Its ok Tris how about this, how about we make everybody we don't know leave and it'll just be our group of friends, and nobody's gonna make you drink and its not gonna be half as loud and none of the guys are going to check you out because they all either have crushes on somebody (in the group) or their dating someone, except maybe Tobias but that might not be a bad thing…" she says with a warms smile.

"No I don't ruin the night for everyone." I say looking down at my shoes.

She scoffs.

"Please this will be way more fun, will you stay if we do that?"

"Are you sure?" I ask

"Yep."

"Ok."

So that's what she does, she kicks everybody out except our friends and I watch from the kitchen as she gathers up all our friends into the living room.

I see Tobias come up to her, a look of panic on his face. They talk for a few minutes and he seems a little bit more relaxed but not much.

When the conversation seems to be over she heads into the living room and Tobias comes into the kitchen to get me.

"Hey Chris told me what happened, are you ok? We don't have to stay if you don't want to-"

"No Tobias its ok. I'm ok." He rolls his eyes and wraps an arm around me, giving me a side hug and kissing my temple.

"Sure you are. Just promise me one thing."

"What?"

"If you want to leave or need anything you'll tell me. Ok?" I hesitate but comply and with that we exit the kitchen just in time to hear Uriah shout

"Hey let's play truth or dare!"

_Oh no_

**AN Totally a filler but I'll update as soon as possible. **

**But i just started at a new school so im getting used to it and im extremely busy so i'll do my best but its hard to write on top of all the home work I get**

**Let me know wat you think! Your reviews mean the world to me!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER! I feel really bad! Ok so i might as well tell you, it physically hurt to think about putting a truth or dare chapter in this stroy it just didn't seem to fit. But you guys all wanted one so bad and yeah...so it was very hard to write and i'm afraid its not very good but hey at least its here. **

**I'm gonna put up the next chapter tonight too just to hopefully make up for not updating for like 2 weeks**

**Let me know if you have questions about anyhting you need me to clear up**

**Thank you to everyone of you** **that reviewd and followd and favorited this, it means the world to me :) **

**Ok i'll stop talking now and let you get on with the chapter**

**Disclaimer: I don't own divergent**

**Chapter 10**

TOBIAS POV

When Chris told me Tris had had a panic attack my stomach had dropped to my feet. She assured me she was fine now but I had to see for myself.

As soon as I walked in my eyes found hers, she was sitting there curled up on a bar stool with tears in her eyes.

She told me she was fine even though it was obvious she wasn't but I didn't push her.

We were walking to join the others when Uriah had started screaming that we have to play truth or dare.

_Shit_

This night is just getting better and better

I hear Tris gasp beside me and stop dead in her tracks, she starts breathing heavily and has to lean against the wall for support.

"N- no," she stutters but it turns into another gasp.

"Hey, hey Tris look at me." I say quickly, "Its ok, we can play."

"No we can't." she chokes on another sob but there are no tears as she cowers beside the wall shaking violently.

"Tris we don't have to play but…we can-"

"But what if they see," she says exasperatedly.

"It doesn't matter, nobody's gonna find out."

"But…but"

"Tris come on this is a break, a break away form everything that's going on, and you'll regret it if you leave now, you can do this, we can do this. Come on" I say and take her hand pulling her up and we walk into the living room.

I make tiny circles on her thumb with my thumb trying to help her calm down. Once we're all seated she seems a little more relaxed that there are less people but she's still nervous about truth or dare.

"Ok," Starts Christina, "we all already know how to play so I'm not going over the rules again but we need a penalty, and since nobody's drinking…" she says glancing at Tris, "We can't do shots so I think we do the remove one item of clothing rule."

Everybody agrees in some way except for Tris and I but we also don't protest so that's what we end up doing.

"Ok I'm starting!" Zeke screams, we all roll our eyes but he ignores it.

"Four, truth or dare?"

"Dare." I say in a bored tone, too many secrets to do a truth.

"I dare you to…" His voice trails off as Chris leans over and whispers something to him, which makes him grin evilly, I glare at her but she just smiles at me with a twinkle in her eyes.

"But I don't wanna die…" he whines like a little kid.

"Do it." She snaps. He gives her a pleading look but she just gives him a death glare and mutters a threat under her breath.

He reluctantly turns back to us, takes a deep breath and mumbles the dare. I raise an eyebrow at him and he sighs.

"Four I dare you, to…givetrisahickey."

What? Is he serious! No wonder he was scared, he should be. I glare at him and eye Tris, who is currently sending an even more evil glare to Christina. I can practically hear her cursing in her head, spitting fire at her "bestie"

I almost chuckle but know better than to do that besides there's a much more important thing to decide.

To take the dare, or not to take it

Honestly I care more about Tris' comfort than anything else, and if she doesn't want me to then I wont take it.

But at the same time I'd rather not lose my shirt over something like this, I mean you can still see my scars even with my tattoos I got to cover them and I'd rather not risk anybody seeing them…

I look to Tris for confirmation, her beautiful blue eyes are wide and a little scared but also determined and when I ask her what she thinks she hesitates but nods and scoots closer to me.

I pull her small, delicate body into my lap, with her spine flush against my chest. I bend down and bury my face in her hair, nosing at her jaw. She takes a light breath of surprise, that's not quite a gasp, when I press a gentle kiss to her neck. I freeze, waiting for her to change her mind but she doesn't. She squeezes my hand as a sign to keep going.

I'm aware that everyone is watching us, very carefully for that matter but I push the thought as far from my mind as possible and just think about Tris.

Her breathing hitches as I begin to kiss and suck on her soft pale skin gently and she even turns her head a little to give me better access.

Once I'm done I wrap my arms around her waist comfortably and everybody else stares in amazement then cheers and applauds and Christina has a sly smirk on her face which Tris and I both roll our eyes at.

"Wow I didn't think you'd really do it," Uriah says once everybody's calmed down. I shrug and Tris blushes, I smile at her and kiss her temple.

"Are you ok?" I whisper, she just nods and sinks closer into my chest shyly. I chuckle and squeeze her tighter.

"HOW ARE YOU NOT DATING?" Christina says, exasperatedly.

"They've got to be, I mean look at them!" Zeke adds

"That's what I've been saying!" Lauren and Shauna gush and begin chatting idly with each other.

"Its out of the question." Uriah states, Wil and Marlene nod in agreement.

"Moving on…" I mutter, "Ok Will Truth or dare."

"Dare." He says proudly, he usually wimps out and goes for truth. He was formally at the erudite school until he transferred in high school. Just like Chris transferred from Candor and Tris and I from abnegation. The others were all originally dauntless.

"I dare you to ask Molly out." I say knowing full well he'll probably get beat up by half the football team. He glares at me but I see more fear than anger in his eyes and that makes me chuckle.

Tris smacks my arm playfully and I smack hers back she laughs and asks me why I'm so mean to him. I mask my guilty expression with a laugh and tell her I'm mean to everybody. She doesn't seem to notice the face I made because she drops the subject and pays close attention to Will as he makes the phone call which will probably result in his death.

But there is a reason I just can't seem to get past his erudite past and no one, not even Tris knows that.

Luckily Molly denied and didn't seem too pissed that he asked so maybe Will will be showed some mercy but still…. it is Peter we're talking about.

The rest of the game remains pretty uneventful.

Peter gets numerous prank calls, Christina gives Will a lap dance, Uriah shoots a muffin off of Marlene's head, Zeke finally asks out Shauna, Lynn gets pissed at nothing and leaves in a huff, I'm asked my real name of course and I lose my jeans. It isn't until I'm dared to make out with Lauren that Tris seems to be not ok with the game.

She crushes my hand and I just stare at my lap, silently. The only reason Shauna dared me to do that is because they wanted to see how we'd react, just to give us another reason to get together.

When I dare to glance at Tris she gives me an unconvincing smile and nod. Its clear she's not ok with this but she'll let me anyway.

I don't want to do anything wit Lauren, oh god of course not but I would rather not just be in my boxers.

But at the same time, Tris let me give a hickey for gods sake, it would be so wrong if I did this to her.

I look at her again but she just stares at her lap, biting her lip.

I wouldn't mind making out with her…

_Snap out of it_

_You can't do this, not right now_

I pull my shirt off and tell Shauna to suck it when she gives me a pouty face, then dare Tris to kiss me. I don't know what takes over me but Its too late now, she gawks at me for a second but gives me a small smile and kisses my cheek, lingering as she pulls away.

The room erupts yet again as our friends question our relationship for the 1000th time. I glance at Tris who looks exasperated.

I lean over and brush my lips against her ear as I whisper softly

"Do you wanna get out of here?" I say rolling my eyes as Marlene shrieks

'They're whispering!'

"Oh god yes." I laugh and change quickly back into my clothes and grab her hand, pulling her out the door.

Honestly I've had enough for one night, enough of our friends, enough of pretending everything's fine, enough of pretending I don't have feelings for Tris.

**AN This chapter kind of sucks but please keep reading we'll get back to the sad, depressing, angsty drama soon**

**Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN Ok heres the next chpater i promised, not much happens in this chapter but whatever theres a TON of drama in the next 2 chapters so im going to go easy on you for now. Remember to review!**

**Disclaimer: Veronica roth owns Divergent**

CHAPTER 11

TRIS POV

"I guess I better get back, Andrew's going to be home in a couple hours." I say, looking at the clock, it's 5. Tobias and I spent all day cleaning every inch of both of our houses, now we're sitting on the couch in his living room watching some movie called How To Save A Life. I've seen it about 50 times but it's still my favorite movie of all time.

He pauses the movie and looks at me sadly.

"I know…" He sighs and runs a hand through his dark hair. "Did you fill your room with-"?

"Yes Tobias. I have enough food to feed a small country." I laugh. "Tobias I'm gonna be fine."

"I'm just…worried about you."

"Yeah I know."

"He said he wanted to bring you a surprise when he came back." He says randomly.

"Yeah I don't know what that's about."

"Me either. Call me when you know what it is, ok?"

"Of course." I say, just as I'm about to ask him if he wants to take me over his phone buzzes.

He takes it out and reads the text.

It's Marcus.

"We're staying at your house for a couple days." He says.

"Really? Why?"

"Something about that 'surprise'."

"Oh."

PAGE BREAK

"Hey Tobias!" I call up the stairs.

"Yeah?" he says coming down, he's wearing dark jeans and a gray sweatshirt. He looks casual but still nice.

"I'm scared." I say, looking at my shoes. This is ridiculous. What's wrong with me."

"Hey look at me." He says lifting my head gently with his thumb under my chin, hand cupping my jaw.

"You have very right to be scared, ok? Every right. It's totally normal to be freaked out. You deserve so much better than this and you shouldn't be ashamed to be afraid. If it makes you feel any better…so am I. I'm terrified actually."

"Why? It doesn't affect you."

"Of course it does." He looks at me like I've lost my mind.

"Ok ok…"

"You know any teenage guy should be scared of their best girl friend's dad but this is on a totally different level." He's right; it's the sad truth.

"That makes sense." I say. "So is everything perfect, like he's not gonna see anything out of place is he?"

"No I've triple checked every little thing, and so have you so I'm sure we'd have caught it."

"Yeah…" I look anxiously at the door and bite my lip. Terrified of what will be coming through there in just a little bit.

I take a deep breath and head to the kitchen; we might as well start dinner.

It'll get us a head start on obeying our fathers and it'll make a good impression when they first see us.

He follows close behind and we begin cooking. I take the chicken that I had taken out of the freezer to thaw earlier and put a piece of it in the heated pan, while Tobias pours a bag of peas into a pot of boiling water.

We don't talk much while we cook just enjoy the comfortable silence that will only last a short while before everybody comes back.

Tobias sets the table as I finish the potatoes, Marcus and Andrew believe in strict selflessness and they say that elaborate foods are self indulgent and that being self indulgent is selfish so we only eat plain food. So bland chicken, flavorless potatoes and unseasoned peas is to be expected here.

Once he finishes, I help him take the food out. Just as I'm placing the plate of chicken in the center of the round table made for 4 and I've changed into more… abnegation appropriate clothes, a chunky knit gray sweater and grey skinny jeans.

That's when I hear the voice that's haunted me since I was little.

"Beatrice are you home?"

**AN Ahhhh cliffy, haha what do you gusy think the "suprise" is and whats gonna happen next! Haha you'll all just have to wait and see! Hopefully this chapter was better than that last one, this one felt a lot more fitting. **

**Well let me know what you think, REVIEW!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN Thanks everybody that reviewed it means alot!**

**Um this chapter is OK but not great, anyway i've been planning this since i started writing it like 5 months ago so just let me know what you think.**

**Its also kind of short but whatever, I'll update soon if i get a lot of reviews.**

**I also want to let you guys know, while i absolutely 100% will have fourtris, the story isn't just about them getting together i mean while it a major part in the story its just...theres a lot more going on.**

**So no, Tobias is not friend zoned, there will be Fourtis (hopefully soon) and i can't really say when they'll get together exactly but just know that it won't happen all at once. Remember theyre both broken beyond belief and damaged and carry ALOT of baggage ****_and_**** Tris is still scared of intimacy ****_and_**** we don't know how Marcus and Andrew will react so yeah... just give it time guys :) IT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE **

**Ok i'll shut up now so here's chapter 12...**

**PS: Veronica Roth owns Divergent**

CHAPTER 12

TRIS POV

When I was younger, after almost every beating, Andrew would lock me in my room.

And leave me there, sometimes for hours, sometimes for days.

In those long amounts of time I did a lot of thinking but the one thing I thought about most had to be trying to come up with an explanation, some kind of justification as to why.

_Why was he doing this to me?_

And through the years I came up with many revelations but none of them justified his actions.

_Maybe I deserved this…No It wasn't my fault mom died…was it?_

_Maybe this was how he coped…No, no one, not even Andrew could be so low_

_Maybe he just needs to get out his frustration or stress or pain and this is the only way he knows how…but how could this possibly ever be considered OK?_

I never came up with a reasonable or satisfying answer and to this day even though deep down I know it's a vain attempt…I still do try to find an answer.

I take a deep breath before heading out of my room, towards the stairs. As I'm walking down the steps quietly the first thing I see is Marcus, stomping his feet on the rug at the front door. I peak through the window and see it must have started snowing lightly. Weird. It's only the middle of November.

His and Andrew's large briefcases, which probably weigh as much as me, are already in the living room and both of their jackets are hung up.

When Marcus looks up the first thing sees is Tobias, his eyes immediately narrow and I see Tobias stiffen before walking towards him to…I guess welcome him home.

The thought is so preposterous I can hardly make sense of it.

I continue down the flight of stairs, as Andrew comes into sight I feel my heart skip a beat.

_Its ok tris he's not going to hurt you_

_Just… be selfless_

He sees me and a fake smile crosses his face

"There she is!" I'm at the bottom of the stairs by now. I walk over to him formally and wrap my arms awkwardly around him pretending I…missed him…

"How was your flight?" I say quietly to the 2 men in front of me, "Mr. Eaton." I add.

Marcus tears his eyes form his son and covers his disgust with a mask that he has perfected over the years so that nobody could pick it out but of course I can.

"Well other than a slight delay because of the unexpected snow wonderful Beatrice. And how did it go while we were gone?"

"Very well, thank you sir." I say.

"Well I don't know about you all but I'm absolutely famished, shall we eat? It smells great dear." Andrew says with a mock sincerity that couldn't sound more forced.

I give them a polite smile and walk towards the kitchen with Tobias close at my heels while Marcus and Andrew head to the dining room.

We don't dare anything once we're in there just take the few moments alone we have to take a breather.

"Are you ok?' he whispers so quietly I can barely hear him.

I nod and he just sighs and squeezes my hand.

"Are you?" I whisper equally inaudibly. He gives me that 'what do you think?' look and I crush his hand back.

We head back to the dining room, and sit down across from eachother while Marcus and Andrew begin to pass around the food. I'm careful not to make eye contact or do anything that they could possibly find rude or selfish or something and neither of us speak a the table because that would be disrespectful. We only speak when spoken to, that was even a rule before my mom died or Evelyn left.

And they don't speak to or acknowledge us, but keep their talk work related, for which I'm grateful, its better than them grilling at us or giving us a double beating…which has happened before and I don't doubt will happen again.

It isn't until after dinner and everything has been cleaned up by Tobias and I that they mention the "surprise"

At the first mention of it my hands immediately tightens around the dish I was placing in the cupboard.

Andrew had called from the living room how we must be dying to find out what it was.

I having lost the ability to speak had to have Tobias respond with mock enthusiasm about how yes we were about dying from the anticipation and that we couldn't wait to find out what it is.

When we entered the living room to join them at their "request" they both looked at us knowingly and I felt my stomach churn.

_What could they possibly be so excited to tell us? _

Just as Marcus opens his both to tell us something the doorbell rings. I bite my lip anxiously and quirk an eyebrow at Andrew who nods with a small smile playing at his lips then gestures for me to open the door.

I walk nervously towards the door, time seems to slow as I get closer.

The cool metal underneath my fingertips gives me chills as my hand wraps around the door handle. I press my thumb down and hear the click of the lock and shut my eyes as I pull the heavy oak door towards myself, swinging it open and the first thing my eyes land on once the door is fully open are a pair of green eyes all too familiar, and the blue rim of a fake pair of glasses.

_Caleb_

**A/N Ahhhhhh its caleb!**

**Anyway i know it was kind of expected and rather obviouus but whatever, like i said earlier it was planned a long time ago so i wasn't about to change it.**

**Heres the list of the people that guessed correctly:**

**_-TheySayLoveIsForever_**

**_-cupboard_**

**_-Guest_**

**_-Guest_**

**_-Guest_**

**BTW to EMTAY8312 and HeyFourNiceTobiceps your guesses were THE BEST. I actually have considered using both of them before! **

**Aright i dont even know if people read these, whatever, until next time...**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/NSorry it took soooo long to update but i have the next chapter ready to go but only if i get enough reviews ;)**

**So REVIEW!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN DIVERGENT**

TRIS POV

_"C- Caleb?" I stammer weakly, I am in my own room in my house, staring at my older brother. He hasn't changed at all. He eyes me like prey, I feel so small. He makes me feel small._

_He watches me for a few moments before approaching, getting dangerously close._

_"Caleb stop." I breathe. My voice sounds wrong. It sounds different from my own. I glance down at my body… oh my god I've seen this before. I am11 years old, this is the first time…_

_"Caleb you're scaring me." I whimper weakly, he's blocking the door. I didn't even realize that this whole while my feet had begun to step back, slowly backing away, I didn't realize it until my back was pressed against the wall, he reached his arms out, caging me in, his body very close._

_Fear buzzes through me like an alarm and I feel a sick wave of disgust run through me when he does speak_

_"What's wrong Beatrice?" he sounds almost innocent, completely unaware, like he's genuinely concerned. He presses his chest against mine and I try to swallow the lump in my throat but that only makes it worse, I go to take a deep breath but he's so close I can hardly breath. He stares at me, almost menacingly, this isn't the Caleb I know._

_"Please Caleb stop…" I mutter, looking at my shoes, asking for his mercy although I'm not sure why._

_"Yes Beatrice?" he whispers in my ear, shooting shivers down my spine and another buzz of panic in my chest, he's even closer than before if that's possible. I can barely think straight now, I cling to one thought, _

_I am scared…_

I don't know how many times I replay the memory or how long I stand there shocked, I can distantly hear Marcus and Andrew's joyful exclamations and I can fee the anger and disgust radiating for Caleb from Tobias but also the intense concern and worriment for me as he stands on guard eyeing every move my brother makes, analyzing him, ready to pounce at any given moment.

"C- Caleb? Wha what are you doing here?" I stutter.

"I thought it was time I came for a visit!" He says with a huge grin, enfolding me in a hug. I stiffen; every hair on my body stands on edge as I hesitantly and awkwardly shift my arms so that I'm hugging him back. He pulls away and continues on inside where he greets Marcus and Andrew warmly. I stare at them in bewilderment, this is so wrong.

This is wrong

Them pretending they both didn't abuse me

Pretending we're just one big happy family

It's sick

I don't even notice when Tobias comes up behind me, wrapping his hands around my elbows, sliding up and down my forearms gently, resting his chin on the top of my head until he speaks.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." I rasp. He pauses, his hands still. I prepare myself for an argument but he doesn't give me one. He exhales and takes my cold hand in his warm one tenderly and pulls me into the living room.

When Caleb looks up from his conversation with the two men who I barely even consider human his eyes begin to analyze Tobias. His eyes narrow but as he walks towards us he puts the mask back on and disguises his obvious suspicion.

"Well Tobias you look... older." He comments Tobias nods.

If Marcus wasn't standing in this room right now he would probably hit Caleb or tell him to back off or growl a witty retort but Marcus _is_ standing a few yards away from us and so is Andrew. I can feel them watching us closely, examining our every movement. Ready to find an excuse to beat us.

The idea of a double beating right now sends chills down my spine.

"How old are you now?" Caleb asks.

"18." He says submitting to his authority. Caleb's face twists in disgust for some reason for just a second but I catch it and I know Tobias does too.

"Are you two…?" he begins but is cut off by me rapidly shaking my head. "Well you two sure look like it, then again you guys always have been close." He says, his erudite nature shining through.

"I suppose. A lot of people do think that there's something going on between us but really there's nothing." I say in a quiet, polite voice but he's not listening or paying me any attention. He's currently having a stare down with Tobias who is returning the glare steadily. I glance over my brother's shoulder and see our fathers staring at us, watching the entire ordeal. It's painfully quiet and unbelievably tense, I need some air.

"Father." I squeak, he turns to look at me, "do you need anything else?"

He hesitates before telling me no and I'm about to move but Tobias still has his arms around me.

"Lets go." I mutter. He doesn't move, doesn't acknowledge me, but keeps glaring at my brother.

"Tobias, please." I whisper. He comes back to reality and simply gives one last look at my brother and surprisingly my brother returns the same look.

_Stay away from her_

**A/N What do you think? PLEASE REVIEW! I want to hear all your suggestions, comments, questions, everything! I don't care if its hate just let me know. I need feedback!**

**I want to thank all of you that followed, favorited and reviewd. I love you all so much! Its seriosuly the best part of my day when i read all your reviews **

**Im not crazy about this chapter but like i said earlier chpter 14 is already ready to post but only if i get enough reviews!**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN Here's your chpater its kind of all over the place but hey at least its an update, right?**

**Seriously guys i need REVIEWS**

**If you read this and dont review it will take WAY longer for me to update so yeah** **review.**

**SO sorry if this sucks :(**

**I DONT OWN DIVERGENT **

Chapter 14

When I open my eyes, I'm in my room and it's still dark. I glance at the space next to me where Tobias is supposed to be but isn't. I look at the alarm clock and it's 4am.

Where is he?

I decide to go look for him considering I'm probably not going to fall asleep without him.

I walk down the halls, my bare feet freezing on the cold floor, my gray sweater hanging off one shoulder over my sleeping short and t shirt, my hair is messy and I probably look like a zombie but I couldn't care less.

As I'm about to turn the corner I hear a voice, a harsh whisper. Then another voice, a man's, he growls something back. I press my back against the wall to listen I don't think they saw me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with her?" Caleb spits.

"Nothing, not that it concerns you." Tobias says bitterly.

"It does concern me. She's my little sister!"

"She's not your little anything," he snaps, "and she is not your sister."

"Says who, you?"

"After what you did to her you lost the right to call her your sister." He growls.

"Ok so say you're right, she's not my sister, not really but what are you going to do about it? Its not like anyone's gonna believe that little bitch."

"Stay away from her."

"Or?"

"Or else."

"You know she might not be mine but shes not yours either."

'So?"

"She's not yours to mess with, she's mine. So you're the one that should be staying away from her not me."

"You know what she went through. You know all that happened. I was there for her during _all_ of it and I still am, where were you? Huh? Oh that's right you raped her, how many times? Too many to count! Then you left! And now you're coming back, claiming her like she's a piece of property. You lost that right a long time ago so I'm telling _you_ stay away from her." I hear Caleb make an inhumane noise, something between a growl and something else I can't quite place then he's on the floor. He must have tried to attack Tobias. Stupid move.

I sprint back to my room and get under the cover but don't bother pretending to be asleep; he can tell when I am.

A few minutes later he walks into the room and lies down beside me.

"Sorry." He says after a few minutes of comfortable silence. I turn to look at him with a confused look.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No, I just can't sleep without you, especially with _them_ in the house." He nods and reaches out to take my hand. I squeeze his warm hand, my thin fingers laced through his.

"Today could have gone a lot worse." I say, he sighs and rubs his face with his free hand then runs it through his dark hair, messing it up.

"Yeah but don't get used to it, its not going to be good this whole time especially with _him_ in town."

"Yeah I know." I say softly.

"We have to get up in a couple hours." I say. "We should get some sleep."

"You mean _try_ to get some sleep?"

"Yeah, we might as well try."

"Ok." He says before pulling me into him. He holds me in his arms as I drift off although I doubt he's going to get much sleep tonight, he never has been able to sleep with Marcus in the house but then again it was the same for me with Caleb.

**PAGE BREAK**

When I wake up Tobias is watching me intently, neither of us had moved positions in the 2 hours since we had fallen back asleep at 4.

"Did you sleep at all?" I ask drowsily. He shakes his head; I nod but don't meet his eyes.

"Hey what's wrong?" he asks lifting my chin.

"I'm sorry I should have stayed up with you. You held me all night and I didn't even-"

"Tris." He stops me, "do I look mad?"

"No…" I say like a little kid. He smiles and rests his forehead against mine.

"Don't worry about it, now we have to get up and make breakfast so lets do that then we can get out of here."

"But no school." I point out.

"I'm sure we can come up with a selfless enough reason to go out."

"Ok."

We go downstairs and make breakfast quickly, by the time Marcus and Andrew are awake and eating, Caleb is nowhere to be found.

"What do you two plan on doing today?" Marcus asks. Tobias freezes next to me, he grips the pan in his hand so hard his knuckles turn white.

"Oh well Tobias and I have a lot of homework to do and we were going to work on it at school today. And we both have volunteer work at the school anyway." I say calmly. Tobias gives me a look of gratitude then continues washing the dishes.

"Well that's excellent." Andrew states calmly but I can hear an edge to his voice.

"Yes. Are you both working today?" I ask as respectfully as possibly.

"Beatrice." Andrew shouts, banging his mug on the table, I jump but force myself to stay calm; I bite my lip and avert my eyes. "Don't question Mr. Eaton." He demands angrily.

"Yes sir." I say.

"I didn't raise you to selfish and disrespectful Beatrice."

"No sir." I barely register it when he comes up to me and slaps me so hard I hardly stay standing.

"It won't happen again will it?" he growls, I shake my head, which makes me even dizzier.

I begin to feel sick, don't do it. I try to keep it down but I don't succeed, I go sick all over the floor.

Tobias takes my hand and says something to Andrew then to Marcus and leads me out. He takes me to the bathroom and has me put my head between my knees, and leaves me to brush my teeth and get the bitter acidy taste out of my mouth while he goes to clean up my mess.

I feel really bad but when he comes back and I start crying because I feel bad he says its ok because I always take care of him when he gets hung over but I still feel bad.

As we're leaving the house Caleb is coming down the stairs and while I don't get a good look at him because Tobias is blocking me form his view I do notice some bandaging on his nose. He broke it, good.

**Page Break**

We take Tobias' Harley; we don't speak as he drives us through the city and I don't know where he's taking us but I don't care. We both need to let off some steam, so I'm pretty sure where we're going will help with that.

When he stops we're in downtown Chicago, by the train station.

The entire area is gray and dreary, there's graphite over every inch of some of the buildings, some older buildings are completely dilapidated and the rubble is spread over the entire area. The trains are mostly empty just going back and forth on the rails for no reason, kind of like my life, just going on and on not stopping and not moving towards anything.

We stand and wait a good distance from the tracks that its safe but close enough so we can jump on.

We used to come here at the beginning of high school when we needed an escape but we were scared that Marcus and Andrew were getting suspicious so now we hardly ever come anymore but I love it here.

I hear the distant blow of the train whistle and Tobias takes my hand and once the train comes into sight we start running, the train comes up beside us and we jump. Tobias grabs the handle and helps me in and we throw ourselves into it, him landing on his feet, me crashing into the far wall.

Once we're safely onboard I sit by the door and watch the city skyline intently.

Tobias doesn't sit though but grabs the two overhead handles and with his feet still on the ground he leans out, he shuts his eyes letting the wind whip his shirt around and mess his hair up. I admire him he looks so peaceful like that.

"I wish I could do that." I say, he opens his eyes and looks at me for a second then a small smile plays at his lips as he lets go and walks back into the car. He takes my hand and pulls me up, we walk towards the door together.

"Hold on to me, ok?" he says. I nod and wrap my arms around his neck while he grabs the handles and leans out of the car. As I feel the wind all around us, consuming me up I feel so light so calm, I feel like I'm flying.

I can't stop the grin that spreads over my face and I light laugh erupts form my mouth, Tobias smiles down at me, I'm surprised his face doesn't hurt his grin so big.

"You like it?" He asks, still smiling. I nod enthusiastically and rest my head against his chest. This is perfect.

We stay like that for as long as we can before Tobias' arms begin to hurt so we go back inside and just ride it normally.

I sit with my legs dangling out the door and he sits beside me, his right hip against my left.

I don't know how long we ride the train but it doesn't matter to me. We don't speak much either but when I do I feel like I need to tell him this.

"Hey Tobias." He turns form the view and looks at me with such undeniable love and admiration and even a little…lust? I'm so taken aback I forget to speak for a second but It doesn't really take me too long to find my voice.

"I- I heard you talking to Caleb earlier." His brow furrows and at the mention of Caleb I swear his jaw clenches.

"And I just wanted to let you know that I don't want anybody else to be there for me but you. I don't want anybody else to comfort me, or hold me when I cry or kiss me or… I guess I'm not making any sense but I just want you to know that well…" I let my voice trail off and pull my sleeve up and show him my scars.

"I'm not bringing them back again and I'm done giving up on life, on myself. You're my reason to live, not anything or anyone else, you."

I stare into his eyes and wait for a reaction.

**AN So this chapter is pretty long and kinda all over the place but a lot of stuff i was planning on happeing had to happen so i knd of just made a chapter so sorry for making it so random. But seriously that ending gahhh you guys are just gonna have ot wait and see his reaction :) hehe im evil oh well review if you want the next chpater sooner. Dont hate me too much **


	15. Chapter 15

**This is short but its what you guys have been wiating for so... yeah here ya go. The sooner you review the sooner i update :)**

**Disclaimer: Veronica Roth owns Divergent **

CHAPTER 15

TOBIAS POV

"I'm not bringing them back again, and I'm done giving up on life, on myself. You're my reason to live, not anything or anyone else, you."

_Did I hear that correctly or did I just imagine it?_

I've waited the last 7 years to hear her say that and now that it's happening I can't believe it. I can't believe that it's actually happening and I don't know how to react.

The next thing I know I'm squeezing her so tight I'm not even sure she can breath but I'm not about to let that thought ruin the moment.

This is the best day of my life…thus far

I feel a sob escape and I freeze, my teeth grind together and my eyes squeeze shut, I bury my face in her neck to hide my embarrassment.

"Thank you." I whisper. She doesn't say anything but pulls back to look me in the eyes I stare at her, I feel the tears in my eyes dangerously close to spilling over fall out of the corner of my eye. She wipes it off with her thumb and then rests it on my cheekbone rubbing back and forth absently, looking up at me with those eyes, those beautiful determined eyes, full of passion and…love? But not just the love she usually looks at me with, the love of a friend or a family member but a different kind of love…with a hint of lust? No that can't be right she doesn't care for me like that.

An intense joy fills me up and I feel my worries shrug off me like a blanket off my shoulders. Even with the slightest hope of her loving me like that I can't help the grin that slowly spreads across my face despite my efforts to hide it. She looks at me confused for a second.

"What?" I laugh I can't help it. She has no idea the effect she can have. I tell her so and she just blushes and looks to her lap, I frown and lift her chin up.

"Don't do that." I say.

"What?"

"That, you always look away or blush at any form of attention form anyone." She bites her lip and I feel an incredible impulse to kiss her. I fight it though; I look away from those soft plush lips and stare at her nose. She always hated her nose, always saying its too long or too awkward but I don't see anything wrong with it at all. She's beautiful and perfect and there's nothing at all wrong with her. But I guess I understand, she has her insecurities and I have mine but we help each other through it. I've always insisted on her strength and she's always insisted on my worth we help each other see the good in ourselves and not only that but everything. She helps me more than she knows and I know it's the same the other way around. She means everything to me, I couldn't live a single day without her, she's my all; I love her in every way imaginable. She means more to me than words can describe and it's my certainty in this that gives me the bravery to say this.

"Tris?" She looks at me, "I love you."

**A/N OOOOHHHH Whats she gonna say!**

**So this chapter is really short but its so jam packed with fluff and Toby and Fourtris its just GAHHHHH im so excited for chapter 16 guys what about you? Let me know in REVIEWS**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN I'm so sorry guys i meant to update last night but im really really busy so i forgot but hey here's chapter 16**

**Sorry if you hate her reaction i just had so many ways i could go with it i had a hard time deciding where to go with it.**

**It's short but sweet 3**

**Please review!**

**WARNING: FOURTRIS FLUFF BELOW**

**Disclaimer: Veronica Roth owns divergent not me**

**Chapter 16 Tris Pov**

"Tobias," I breath, I don't know what to say, I know he doesn't expect me to say it back. He wouldn't want me to say it just because he said it, he would want me to be sure of myself when I first tell him and well right now I can't be sure.

I mean I know I love him, I know that for sure but I don't know if I'm ready to be together like that, with anyone even Tobias. Andrew and Caleb and losing my mom…it really messed me up and I'm not sure if I know how to love anymore.

And what if it didn't work out, I mean I know Tobias would never pressure me into anything, he's not like that but still there's a part of me that's scared he'd expect things form me. Then of course what would happen if we broke up! Oh god I couldn't lose Tobias.

I realize that I haven't responded and Tobias is probably expecting me to say something. I cant say anything though, my mind begins to play tug of war, to tell him I love him to or to stay silent?

Be self- no be brave.

You are not Beatrice; you are not Andrew Prior's daughter.

You are Tris, you are Tobias' family, and you are dauntless.

So dauntless I shall be.

I close the tiny gap in between us and connect my lips with his, his lips are warm and soft and comforting. After a moment of shock and his dark eyes widening for a moment processing what's happening he kisses me back, he is hesitant at first but as I kiss him back he becomes more sure of himself, he moves his lips with mine, we find a soft rhythm as his arms wrap around my waist and pull me even closer so I'm flush against him. When air becomes necessary I pull back just far enough to look him in the eyes, I love his eyes. While they are the same as Marcus' they are so different, his are wounded but made strong, comforting and real. Marcus' are harsh and cold and threatening. That's exactly the difference between them as well, while they're so alike they really are nothing at all like the other. While Marcus is the worst creature to walk the earth, Tobias is the best, while Marcus makes all the wrong decisions, Tobias makes all the right ones, while they're both strong and possessive Tobias knows how to control, Marcus does not.

He looks at me with such warmth and adoration and love, no one has ever looked at me like that since my mom died and I never know what to do with it. Its impossibly comforting it makes me feel safe and secure and that's exactly what I need, my life has been so messed up, so out of control its amazing what a big difference one moment of security, one place, one person that makes you feel like you can get it together can make.

Its what I need, it's all I need.

For a moment we just stare into each other's eyes not knowing what to say, where to go form here, neither of us have ever been good with affection. Finally when I do decide to speak he doesn't let me he pulls me into him again letting me sink into his chest, I rest my head in the crook of his neck where I just happen to fit so perfectly.

"Shhh." He whispers in my ear, not wanting to ruin the moment with complications, "We'll figure it out later."

He holds onto me with a certain possessiveness, which I don't really mind because I want the world to know that I'm his and even more that he's _mine_. No one else's mine.

I tell him so and he chuckles in response.

"Me too." He mumbles and pulls me closer tightening his grip on me. It hurts how hard his hands are clenching me but it doesn't scare me, I trust him.

This is perfect, this is what I've been missing, I was stupid to think this would be a bad thing. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I doubt it's going to turn out bad. In fact I decide that I leave those thoughts I'm so insecure about here on this train, I don't want them anymore. So much bad has happened to me in my life and this is the one thing that's actually gotten me through it, there's no way I'm going to let this go bad too.

I turn my head, still buried in his neck to look out the door and see the breathtaking view the sun is setting.

"Tobias." I whisper.

"Yeah?"

"I hate to say this," actually it kills me, "But we have to get off now." He nods and stands up, pulling me along. As the platform approaches I feel Tobias grip my hand like a life line, he may be practically fearless, I mean he only has 4 fears but heights still bother him. I give his hand a reassuring squeeze and that's when we jump.

We stay standing on the platform not knowing what to say, what to do, what happens now?

Tobias told me he loved me

I kissed him

I love him too

Where do we go from here?

** AN So short but next chapter is really full of drama so yeah just wiat its gonna get exciting.**

**PS I think im gonna write a one-shot for valentines day, it might be based off this story but i'm not sure so be on the look out :)**

**Review, it would mean alot to me**


	17. Chapter 17

**OMG you gys im SOOOOO sorry**

**I seriously have no idea whats wrong with my computer, but something happened with this chapter, anyway SO sorry for the inconvience heres the real chapter**

**Dislaimer: vroth owns divergent**

**TRIS POV**

When we pull up to the house, dread fills me up. Its late, almost dark. They're not going to like this.

Tobias must notice me tense because he turns around, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

"Its late." I say, he looks completely deflated; there is a mix of emotions drawn all over his face, pain, fear, sadness, but mostly anger. He glares at the house. The place that used to be my home, where my mom tucked me in every night and kissed my head and taught me to be selfless, where my brother and I would play and sneak peeks in the one mirror we had where we would draw attention to ourselves when we ran down the stairs, where we could be selfish but get away with it because we were small and our dad wasn't a monster obsessed with causing pain to others, where my dad told me stories of him and mom being young and in love and I would become completely infatuated and tell him that when I grew up I wanted to marry daddy too then mommy would tell me no way because he was her's. At one point those 4 walls and a roof was a home, full of love and safety. I miss those days.

I'm broken out of my trance by a soft kiss on my forehead, I shut my eyes and live in the moment, drawing it out as long as possible but I also know we just need to get this over with so I gather up all of my courage and step onto the sidewalk, take Tobias' hand and begin towards the door. With every step my heart races even more but I force myself to keep walking.

Everything is going to be ok; Tobias is here, that's all that matters.

It all happens in a blur, no sooner that I step in the door I'm on the ground a hot pain coming form my head. I groan and roll over unsure of anything that could be going on. I try to find Tobias but everything is blurry and I can't see straight.

"Where were you?" I hear Andrew growl then a feel something hit my side repeatedly, but he's not kicking me, and its not the belt I've recognized what that feels like and this is completely different, what is he hitting me with?

"That was very selfish of you Beatrice." He snarls and I wince then he drops whatever he was hitting with before and begins to slide his belt out of the belt loops and brings it over his head.

Pain

Pain

That's all that happens after that, indescribable pain; so intensely fierce I'm crippled by it. I scream a guttural noise, something so awful its not even human.

Every time he pulls his arm back an unbelievable terror pulses through me, an insane wish for death overtakes me, anything to make this stop.

It feels like hours later when the continuous stream of belting stops, at this point I can't believe I'm still conscious. As I writher in pain under Andrew as he begins to use me as a punching bag, through my clouded thoughts one thing is clear in my mind.

Tobias. Where is he?

Just as I'm about to attempt to fight back against Andrew something slams into me with unbelievable force and I stop breathing for a couple seconds, the wind completely knocked out of me. I feel a panging fill my body up from that blow. I try to adjust to see what that force was, I'm currently crashed against the wall with something blocking me. I fight the urge to let my eyes roll back into my head because I have a feeling if I close my eyes I won't wake up, plus I have to find out what's beside me.

My arms tremble as I try to lift my weight enough to see the figure that slammed into me; I continue this ignoring the distant shouting in the background of my fuzzy mind.

When I finally see what the figure is I gasp, its Tobias.

I can't tell if he's conscious or not but all I know is that either Marcus or Andrew or maybe both of them threw Tobias over here.

I open my mouth to say something to Tobias when I feel the familiar leather gouge the skin on my back, or really any skin it can find. The agony is so insane I can't even scream or make any noise or move or see or anything, my body shudders and then I go sick, my body no short of falls apart and ejects anything in my stomach all over the floor.

I go limp on the ground as I watch a pair of hands grab Tobias and pin him against the wall, I know now he's conscious but barely, he pretty much in the same state as me.

Then Marcus send a right hook into him, Tobias is only "standing up" because someone's holding him up, if they were to let go he'd just collapse limp, then Marcus beating him like this over and over and as I watch blood come form his head, scraped against the wall and Marcus slows down and I think he's done he knees him in the stomach with such impossible force, I see the shock on Tobias' face then he falls to his knees then the ground I scream as Andrew and Marcus beat his unconscious body to pieces. I pull myself up and struggle to get to him, to get them to stop then I feel a sharp pain shoot through me erupting from my side and that's when everything goes black.

**Ok thats better, again so sorry, i feel awful**

**Anyway i'll be updating the next chapter very soon probably tomorrow sorry to keep you hanging.**

**Please give me suggestions, i've had like no confidence in my writing lately and i just need some feedback. So yeah please take a little time to write me a nice review :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Sorry it took soooo long to update. This chapter isn't very good but i wanted to give you all something so here it is..**

**PS I might update again tonight if i get a lot of reviews **

**Disclaimer:Veronica roth owns divergent**

**Tobias's pov**

As soon as we walk inside I'm immediately grabbed by my collar and thrown across the room, hitting my head against the wall, I'm about to fight back, to find Tris when I'm hit with a… a crowbar? I can't tell what it is but I just know that it hurts. Then I'm peeled away from the wall and I immediately out of habit connect my fist with his jaw then I'm thrown into the ground and kicked in the ribs and the head over and over then yanked up again, when I'm pulled up half way they throw we into the ground and hit me in the head again with something metal.

Then I'm dragged across the floor towards a chair? I'm hit across the head again then tied to it. What's going on?

I take numerous hits but I fight to stay conscious, I can't fade not now, Tris needs me. Tris. Tris, I need to get to her. I look around, my vision blurred, everything spotted and foggy. When my eyes do register something its nit my Tris, the figure is too broad and too tall, she's small and slender and sharp. Then there's a flash of blonde, I'm familiar with this. Double beatings are nothing new to me, neither is being forced to watch Tris get beat up of course it still hurts just as much.

I don't remember when its started happening or how They could be so creative especially when drunk, I mean I know they've picked up that we hurt most when it's each other getting hurt and our feelings for each other is really no secret, so I suppose it's smart on their part even if it is cruel and beyond inhuman.

Although they aren't usually associated as human.

A sudden wave of anger washes over me; I break free from my sloppy restraints despite the screaming protests coming from my body, which is now ringing with pain. Stupidly I don't really think through my pathetic excuse for a rescue attempt, if you can even call it that and Marcus despite him being a dumb drunk grabs me and bangs my head against the wall forcing a tsunami of nausea and dizziness fill me and I collapse, then I feel him grip my arm and swing me into the opposite wall and I end up colliding into Tris.

I groan and roll off of her, everything begins to go black but I fight it, as much as I want to let my heavy eyelids shut who knows what would happen to tris so I strain to keep them from closing. When I feel my father's belt on my back and I hear the seam of my shirt rip open with every lash I cry out a guttural inhuman noise from the back of my throat. At the sound, almost immediately two strong hands grip my shoulders, hoisting me up then pin me against the wall then he punches me hard in the face then knees me in the stomach, he continues this, with every strike I crash into the wall and I know that there'll be holes and dents and blood stains all over it later if they're not there already. When he decides he's had enough he peels me from the wall and with unbelievable force he drives me into the floor and that's when I finally let everything go black.

TRIS

The house is dead silent when I wake up, I don't attempt to move, knowing that it'll just paralyze me in pain if I do and I need to find out if anybody's home and if Tobias is ok. I don't move my head just my eyes, using my peripheral vision to my advantage. When I'm sure that nobody's home I glance at Tobias. He lays on the ground a bloody, bruised mess.

"Tobias." I whisper, testing my voice, which comes out hoarse and rough. He doesn't move.

"Tobias, I need you to wake up. Can you hear me?" I say, waiting for an answer. Still nothing.

"Tobias…" I try to think of something to do, "Here," I take his hand. "Squeeze my hand Tobias, come on." I say quietly, I run my thumb over his knuckles gently like he does when I need comfort.

"Please Tobias." I sniffle; the seconds go by painfully slow, still nothing. I decide to check his pulse, I move my fingers to rest on his wrist and I feel a lot better when I find he has a slow steady heart beat.

"Tobias, I need you to wake up." I cry, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take and there's no way we're going to make it to a hospital not in our condition and I definitely no way I can get to a phone considering we don't even have one in our house and my cell is who knows where, probably with Andrew.

_Andrew._

At even the thought of his name I feel completely distraught or the idea that he could come back any minute now…

"Tobias wake up." I cry, before now I've only been whispering but now… I start to yell and cry and even though every single inch of my body throbs in indescribable pain I let myself fall apart.

"Tobias wake up, I need you, please." I cry louder than I should be. It makes everything hurt worse but I don't care, I need him now. If they took him away from me I'd I would, I don't know whether I'd murder them or kill myself or both, most likely both.

I begin to sob uncontrollably partly because of the pain, and partly because of the idea that I might lose Tobias; he might not ever wake up.

"Tobias, please don't leave me, please, I can't do this without you, please Tobias just, just do something, show me you're gonna be ok." My body feels like it's ripping itself apart and my heart is completely impaled.

I continue to wish I would just die, the pain of it all eating me alive, tearing me apart until I feel Tobias's hand gently squeeze my hand back.

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	19. Chapter 19

AN So sorry for the unexpected hiatus, I've just had a lot going on in my life lately and couldnt find the time to write and this chapter was also particularly hard to write but im back and its almost the weekend and hopefully i'll have the time to write anyway i'll shut up now and let you get on with the story

Veronica roth owns divergent. i am not veronica roth

Chapter 19 TRIS POV

The first thing I see when my eyes open is a bright white light, my head is still sensitive to light so my first instinct is to lift my hand up to shield my eyes tit is strangely tugged back. I look down to see what's up and see that both my feet are tied down.

What?

I take in my surrounding quickly, I'm laid completely normal in my bed in my room, in a pair of gray sweatpants a black t-shirt. The picture is almost completely normal other than the bands tying my hands down and Tobias is nowhere to be found. Just as I'm about to call out for him the door opens, I crane my neck to see the last person I wanted to see right now. Caleb.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss. He just chuckles and shuts the door behind him.

"Tris is found you laying on the floor in a pool of blood next to Tobias neither of you conscious, you scared me pretty bad." He says it kindly, and softly, how one would speak to someone in my situation, if I didn't know him I'd be fooled but I do know him and I know better to believe one word that comes out of his mouth.

"Anyway Tobias is ok, he's in my room but right now you need to just take it easy, ok?"

"No I want to talk to Tobias." I say firmly, "I'm fine Caleb." I say trying my best to get him to let me go.

"Tris," he sighs then look at me, his eyes scan over my body making me feel disgusting and dirty. "I can't do that." He says softly crossing over from the foot of my bed closer to me. I grip my restrains and try to wriggle free from them but it becomes clear that it's a vain attempt.

"You know I really did miss you while I was gone." He whispers, the leans down to my ear. I begin to panic, this is not happening, this is not happening again. No, absolutely not. "I miss this." He whispers before shoving his chest against mine. This is all too familiar.

"Caleb," I collect myself as much as I can, "Caleb stop." I say calmly, I need to control this; I will not let him take advantage of me again. I am not weak, I will not let this happen again, I will say no, and I will not panic, I won't.

"Why Tris? You want this too, I know you do." He whispers sending shivers down my spine.

"No Caleb I don't, we need to stop." I say collectively. He pulls away far enough to look at me strangely. I look him straight in the eye, holding my ground. If you want to be respected you have to respect yourself. I think to myself, don't let him disrespect you or your body. I don't know how long we stay there but when our stare breaks its not me who breaks it, its him leaning back to down to take my clothes off.

"Caleb stop." I say strictly. "Caleb no." he ignores me and tugs my shirt off I taste bile as his hands rest on my rib cage. No, they don't belong there.

"Tobias!" a scream escapes my mouth so fats I barely register it happened. "Caleb," I try to grab his attention, his head snaps up to look at me. "Stop it, I told you not to do this and you need to respect that." He just leans back to my ear his lips brushing it.

"You don't know what you want, you're just a scared little girl." He mumbles. "Caleb you haven't seen me in years, that was a long time ago, I might have been a scared little girl before but I'm not anymore and you can't do this so right now you need to get off of me."

He doesn't get the chance to consider this because suddenly he is ripped off of me with a strong force and the next thing I know he is on the ground in a heap, blood spilling from his nose. In look around the room confused, Tobias is towering over his body while he cowers away. I see him lean down to say something to which Caleb's eyes widen and he nods vigorously. Tobias then grabs him by the back of his collar and with a guttural growl catapults him out of the room, I hear a thud then Tobias shuts and locks the door.

He doesn't move, one hand grips the door handle while the other is placed against the oak grains his palm pressing against the sanded wood he breathes in and I miss his exhale, he lies rests his forehead against it breathing deeply for who knows how long. I don't move, I don't make a sound we just stay there in silence until he sighs and peels himself away from the door and turns to face me. At the sight of my body he squeezes his eyes shut, fingernails digging into his palms. He exhales deeply before walking over to me avoiding my eyes, not really acknowledging me at all.

He focuses on the task as his fingers undo the knot on my restraints, releasing me but he doesn't let me get up. He retrieves my shirt and pulls it over my head; his hands are gentle and swift. Once it's on he tucks a hair behind my ear the searches my body carefully for any sign that I'm hurt.

"Tobias I'm alright-" I begin but he stops me.

"No Tris, It's not alright, I let this happen, its my fault and now-" he stops, he bites his lip and shakes his head, not looking at me. "Do you have any ideas what this kind of thing does to me?" he whispers after a few minutes.

"But I'm fine, he didn't do anything, I stayed calm and did my best to control the situation-,"

"You don't get it do you, Tris you're strong I'm not denying its just-," he pauses, "You don't can't control everything. Tris you were tied down completely helpless that wasn't your fault and it doesn't make you any less strong but if he had decided not to listen to you, you wouldn't have been able to do anything and after all that and what happened the other day you're acting like It's no big deal and it kills me. I want you to react to lose it to break down to do something."

"Why? What does my reaction to this have to do with anything?"

"Because it's not right!" He yells, "It's not right that you've gone through so much of this shit that it completely unfazes you, that I can't stop it, and it's not ok that this happens and nobody does anything about it. And no it's not something you can just say 'get over it' like you always have for 7 freakin years!" He's shouting his fist slams into the table by my bedside. 'It shouldn't have happened in the first place, never mind as much as it happens to you." I sit there not knowing how to react, what to say. Suddenly he stands up, and in 3 long quick sharp strides he's put of the room throwing the door open. I know what he's doing.

"Tobias!" I call after him "Tobias stop!" I yell running after him but I know he's already gotten to him when I hear an ear splitting shriek. "Tobias, stop it right now!" I say entering the room yanking on his arm trying to pull him back but he doesn't budge just continues to beat my sad excuse for a brother.

As much as I want him to hurt and as much as he deserves it I care about Tobias and his well being and I know if I let this get to out of hand the regret and guilt will eat him alive later. As much as I'd like to let him get the pain and anger that's boiled up for so long out I know I cant so I gently place a hand on his arm. "Four, that's enough,." At my words he turns and looks at me obviously hurt that I called him four but it got his attention so I don't really worry about it. "Come here," I say softly. His face changes and he's not the almighty Four, he's the young boy that Marcus locked in a closet and beat with a belt, the small scared little boy. He looks at me his dark eyes pleading with me begging for forgiveness that doesn't need to be given, I enfold him in my arms and he clings to my shoulders I feel his own shake as he cries softly into my neck. I run my hands up and down his arm gently.

"Hey," I say pulling back to look at him but he averts his eyes, "look at me," he does, "I'm alright, look at me, I'm a little roughed up but I'm ok. Look at you, you can hardly tell you've seen hell the last two days. Tobias we're gonna be alright, I love you and we're gonna be alright."

AN Let me know what you think


	20. Chapter 20

**AN First things first I would like to apologize for the confusion from before but I would also like to explain.**

**Fanfic has an error which messes up all documents uploaded to it. So on Microsoft word my chapter is basically flawless, no grammar/spelling/punctuation/indentations/paragraphs at all then I upload it into fan fiction and bam it took out ALL my punctuation, cut sentences and paragraphs short, there are entire sections and paragraphs missing in the most random places, so its not anything to do with me or my grammar or writing skills or even my computer so please be patient with me as I am doing everything possible to fix it. I literally spent HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS fixing this stupid chapter just because of this freaking website which is annoying the crap out of me so yeah hopefully it works this time, 'fingers crossed' **

**Please review cause frankly I'm about to give up in this stupid fanfic**

**Vroth owns divergent**

**Chapter 20 Tris Pov**

The unpleasant sound of my father's voice pulls me out of my trance

"Come on," Tobias says, his hot breath on my neck, "Lets go,"

It's been a few days since the double beating and sadly we haven't been able to go to school, apparently Marcus and Andrew pulled us out for a few days so we could spend time with Caleb. They've left us alone for the most part other than countless threats and slaps on the cheek and stuff like that but it's the fear, the fear that we let one thing slip, that we do one thing they don't like then it like could turn into something much much worse very quickly.

We enter the kitchen where Caleb is in light conversation with Marcus, once we enter they both go quiet but luckily Andrew walks in from his office before we have to say anything.

"You two, with Caleb, now." Andrew says, giving us both death glares. If looks could kill...

I shoot Tobias a skeptical look but follow Caleb out out the garage anyway

We sit in silence for what's probably only a few minutes but feels like hours, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife if you wanted to, soon it becomes too much for me though and I stand it anymore.

"Where were we going?" I ask Caleb. My voice comes out weaker than I'd like it too. More scared.

"Party." Is all he says before turning back to the road.

"Dressed like this?" I ask looking down at my black skinny jeans and gray knit sweater.

I'm stopping at Marcus's house so you both can change, they would flipped if they knew I was taking you to a party so I just told them I was bringing you along to meet up with some friends." He explains.

We don't say anything after that. I glance over at Tobias who staring no more like glaring out the window, fists and jaw clenched, hate for my brother radiating off of him. I run my thumb over his knuckles like he has so often, hoping to calm him down a little and when he turns to look at me his eyes soften but not much and soon the anger is back and he goes back to glaring at the window.

Page break

When I walk into the club, I tug Tobias along, getting as far from Caleb as possible. I refuse to let him near me tonight. Honestly this is the last place I want to be right now, I feel so unsafe here and not being able to keep my eyes on Caleb at all times scares the hell out of me. I, being a measly 5'2 have a hard time squeezing my way through the crowd and eventually Tobias decides to weave through it, pulling me behind him which proves much more efficient.

As we walk through the crowd I tug at the hem of my dress which just barely covers my butt but whenever I pull it down the scoop neck goes even lower pushing my breasts up and I know Tobias doesn't like it, his face had puckered up in distaste like one's does upon tasting a lemon, but didn't say anything about it.

Neither of have said much this weekend at all really, not because we're upset but what do you say to someone in this situation?

Exactly.

When he leads me to the bar I give him a look but he just shrugs and turns to the bar tender, ordering us both who knows what. Neither of us have any preference when it comes to drinking, considering the shit we drank as kids. White wine, gin, whiskey, straight and room temperature. Disgusting, but anything to take the pain away right? I remember the sleepless nights, when we'd sneak into our father's offices, picking the locks on the safes and sneaking bottles into our rooms. I remember staying up to ungodly hours, sitting beside eachother, talking about nonsense, head thrown back, back leaned against the wall drinking away the pain. Doing anything to forget. Anything. So while for some kids our age can't handle a beer or even a cocktail

I feel tears burn my eyes, and the salty taste of tears in my mouth at the memory and shake it away, accepting the shot of whiskey from Tobias then tilting my head back letting the alcohol burn my throat.

With a little alcohol in my system I feel myself let go a little, then remember how good it feels to let go I release my hold on reality and slip into the fantasy.

We dance for hours, my arms around his neck, and his around my hips. My movement become braver as the sensual music and a wide assortment of drinks floods my system. Going from swaying to the music to straight up grinding against him. I know he doesn't mind because in the morning neither of us will remember and I can tell that he's enjoying it as much as me.

We continue to drink, with every shot, every gulp I can feel myself fading into a world a whole lot less confusing as my own

I know tomorrow I'll regret it but I give into the temptation anyway, right now none of that matters, I feel happy and the idea of escaping my world for a few hours makes me giddy so I let myself throw my head back a laugh escaping my throat.

I party hard for hours, I lose count of how many drinks I've had, of keeping myself in line, of everything.

When I am dragged off the dance floor by Caleb, although my feet feel like they're going to fall off I don't want to stop, of course I don't fight with him though, not wanting to cause any trouble. He pulls us towards a group of people who's faces I forget the moment I see them, he does introductions but I don't bother paying attention. The women wear dresses even shorter than mine with wayyy lower neck line. With, slits and too many see through places, most of them looking like they're wearing nothing short of lingerie. They also all are much prettier, curvier and sexier. They aren't completely covered in scars and bruises and various injuries ad look like a skeleton. The men are all unattractive and look like sleazy man whores. Just like 95% percent of the people in this stupid club. After a few minutes of casual talk that I don't participate in Caleb tells me he wants to talk to me, at first f course I refuse for one reason or another I decide to follow, dragging Tobias along with me. As we round a corner, near the exit I turn to ask him what he wants I am suddenly knocked over by a strong force and from the alcohol as well as the weakness I have been experiencing the last few days I can't find the strength to fight it, so I let it slowly over take me, descending into darkness.

TOBIAS POV

Although my thoughts are clouded my judgment not so much, I may not be on the top of my game t moment but that doesn't keep me off my toes as I watch every moment Caleb makes, every breath he takes, every time he blinks I am aware of it. Ready to act if I have to. Just as Trish turns to ask him what he wants he punches her square in the nose. I pounce on him but he seems very prepared as he throws a right hook but the adrenaline I feel every time Tris is hurt works for me and I block out of instinct.

I send various hits to him but he does the same to me, at one point I feel my nose burst, blood gushing form it but I will not let him get to Tris. That is not even a possibility right now. He begins to get the upper hand but I fight back with everything I have in me, taking all the anger my father ever inflicted on me and putting it on this man. The one that hurt Tris for years, the one that deserves no better. I use this motivation to finally hit him hard enough in the chest to knock the wind out of him then kick behind his knees knocking him down and scooping up Tris in my arms and carrying her outside then taking her to my house.

TRIS POV

When I open my eyes my headache is even worse than it would have been had it not been for Caleb, so now am I not only hungover but now after getting hit in the head and passing out its worse, much worse. A low groan escapes my mouth and soon Tobias emerges from the bathroom. His shirt and hands are covered in blood. I stare at him for a moment before a sob crashes over me.

"T-Tobias your shhhirt and your hands," I choke, lifting his large hand in my tiny delicate ones, the bloody bruised and swollen knuckles are a sight. Soon I can't control it and I sob openly, burying my face in his shirt.

I'm sorry." I repeat over and over. I feel his shoulders shake and at first I think he's crying too but when I look up at him I see he's chuckling to himself.

What is wrong with him? I roll my eyes frustrated and swing my legs over the side of the bed and stand, my toes sinking comfortably into the soft carpet for a moment then I feel my knees shake at the weight and soon hes pulling me back onto the bed.

"I'm sorry, its just you're unbelievable Tris. After what happened to you, you're crying, sobbing over my bruised hands! And then you get upset when I cry when you get beaten half to death or raped!" He says laughing to himself. I try my best to glare at him but it doesn't work, Its very hard for me to stay mad at him and soon I let a small smile play across my lips and let him hold me for a few minutes. We stay like that for a few minutes, silent. I'm sue he's as exhausted as I am and probably also has a marching band in his head so I doubt he wants to talk much either.

"Tobias?" I ask after a few minutes, my head is leaned against his shoulder and his arms are wrapped securely around me.

"Yeah?" he asks quietly.

"Caleb didn't do anything right?" I ask quietly, its not that I don't trust him, I'm just concerned.

"I didn't let him do anything, I'm not going to let hum touch you, I promise."

"Thank you." I whisper softly, burying my face in his neck, suddenly very tired. He must pick up on this because he whispers back.

"Why don't we go to sleep, you've had a long day." I just nod too tired to talk.

As we change into more comfortable clothes I let my mind wander to the other day on the train. I haven't had much time to think about it considering how crazy things have been lately never mind talk about it and what it means for us with Tobias. I decide to mention it tomorrow, after we both have a good night sleep. Once we get under the covers, when my spine is pressed against his best and his arms are tightly wrapped around me, his face in the crook of my neck I let the exertion take over and I slowly fall asleep in Tobias' arms.

**A/N PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK**

**AGAIN SO SORRY ABOUT THE CONFUSION**


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